“Writing is a form of personal freedom. It frees us from the mass identity we see in the making all around us. In the end, writers will write not to be outlaw heroes of some underculture but mainly to save themselves, to survive as individuals.” Don Delillo
Come to think of it. I haven't really even written anything at all really. I've jotted a few things down here and there, but mostly about the same stuff, or adding to. I need to start something new, then come back to the old shit. On top of that, I feel that I've been this way in my life. It's only the last few days where I felt like something has been on top of me. Stuck someplace deep beneath the surface of my mind. Everything is going by so freakin' fast in life now. I'm running out of time. Living the "real life" and in the "real world" has taken some getting use to. Especially being in Austin, which is considered huge to me. Only 5 hours from the places I grew up and started to form myself, yet it's an entire world. I do feel slightly awakened somehow. Can't explain when it started, or when it ended. Except, obviously the end happened not long ago.
"If you are going through hell, keep going." Winston Churchill
I'm 25 now, and I didn't accomplish all my goals that I had listed many years ago to achieve by now. I can safely say that I feel I accomplished most, and didn't fully finished some. So, it's not too bad, but I need better now. I'm currently on the search to make things better for myself. One thing is to just try to be happier, but, of course, with the way the world is, my main concern is to earn more money. I need to pay on school, or enroll back in it for easier non-payment methods. Also, I could put a business plan together and try to get a sponsor, help, fundraiser, anything to get it going. Another thing, I could also finish a simple, easy script to shoot at nearly no budget with what I got, and who I have.
"Do what you can, with what you have, where you are." Theodore Roosevelt
I have to get more practice and get out there more somehow. Prove what all I have to offer, and what I offer is great.
(Funny quick off topic note. Billie Jean just came on the radio and my dog, Max, is sleeping and his paws are twitching., making him look like he's dancing, lol. It's adorable.)
Anyway, I need to remember to stay focused and on track. There is no such thing as A.D.D., but it's a good thing to blame some things on. So, I've decided to make a list. I can't work properly at my job without a list, and a time to finish. If I don't, then I will be scattered and do things leisurely. Leisure=Lazy. So, I need to try and bring that back to my actual life. Make a list of goals to finish at a reasonable rate. I'm writing this all out to get it out just the way it is, and make it more concrete. Even doing this on a blog where many could see makes it better for me. I always say that's it's easier and better for me to do things, and get them done if I'm doing to for someone else and/or if someone actually asks me to do something for them. Especially if I feel I owe that person something and/or everything, and there's probably many I feel that way about, but it's getting scarce because bitterness has been learning to seep inside me. This way I think it's tricking my mind into thinking I'm promising others, that way I will achieve these goals. Maybe I can get an encourager on different ones ;)
To start things off I need to decide what I really want/need. Ultimately, long term goal, is to own a business, which I would like to be a dinner theater, much like The Alamo Drafthouse except have live theater instead of movies, but play movies occasionally for certain reasons. I would also like to help own and run a production company that puts out films, live theater, music, comics, books, etc... I just like to dabble in all these art forms. I'm trying to find ways to incorporate them all because I have to have them. Mind you, I want to cook, act, and write before and during all this. I would like to have a family as well in the future. The hard part is finding and finishing the short term goals to there. So, by end of this year I would like to have these things done:
1) Finish my two movie scripts
2) Write something for kids
3) Write a story about Lancelot for Alana
4) At least start on a musical
5) Make a short film, which could include a documentary type
6) Write a business plan
7) Make more money regularly, even if it means finding a completely new and different job
8) Get cast in something professional, film or theater
9) Meet the right people
10) Be more positive, and less thinking of negative past issues. Live in NOW.
11) Finish book, which is a collection of short stories
12) Feel accomplished of something everyday, outside of my job
13) Win the lottery *Crosses fingers*...Worth a shot
14) Write a Christmas story
15) Make at least 5 more songs
16) Do something fantastic for my family
17) Do something great for Micah
18) Find better transportation
19) Make at least 5 more "paintings"
20) Help at least 10 people in a great way
I think this is a good list, and a nice round number. I'm gonna make a list of personal things to encourage myself and better myself everyday at home. Maybe this will help my life feel happier. I will update this list to cross things out in a sense, and I look and hope for encouragement from other seeing as how I really can't help but feed off other people and the world. If anyone has any ideas or suggestions on how to help me achieve my goals, or want to add to it, feel free. I feel these goals are very much accomplish-able, so, when I surpass it, then I will feel even better.
Great! I already feel better! Now, time to post this and finish something else by the end of the night. I leave with quotes and videos to inspire and encourage.
"Life is like a coin. You can spend it any way you wish, but you only spend it once."
Lillian Dickson
"Keep love in your heart. A life without it is like a sunless garden when the flowers are dead. The consciousness of loving and being loved brings a warmth and richness to life that nothing else can bring."
Oscar Wilde
"To succeed in life, you need three things: a wishbone, a backbone and a funnybone."
Reba McEntire
"All the world's a stage,
And all the men and women merely players;
They have their exits and their entrances;
And one man in his time plays many parts,
His acts being seven ages. At first the infant,
Mewling and puking in the nurse's arms;
Then the whining school-boy, with his satchel
And shining morning face, creeping like snail
Unwillingly to school. And then the lover,
Sighing like furnace, with a woeful ballad
Made to his mistress' eyebrow. Then a soldier,
Full of strange oaths, and bearded like the pard,
Jealous in honour, sudden and quick in quarrel,
Seeking the bubble reputation
Even in the cannon's mouth. And then the justice,
In fair round belly with good capon lin'd,
With eyes severe and beard of formal cut,
Full of wise saws and modern instances;
And so he plays his part. The sixth age shifts
Into the lean and slipper'd pantaloon,
With spectacles on nose and pouch on side;
His youthful hose, well sav'd, a world too wide
For his shrunk shank; and his big manly voice,
Turning again toward childish treble, pipes
And whistles in his sound. Last scene of all,
That ends this strange eventful history,
Is second childishness and mere oblivion;
Sans teeth, sans eyes, sans taste, sans everything."
William Shakespeare
As You Like It, 2. 7.
I think that this is a fantastic way to hold yourself accountable. Having goals that are just verbal or mental doesn't make them as concrete as writing them down and looking at them. The are all very attainable. Let me know if I can help. XOX
ReplyDeleteWriting them down is progress. Deadlines are good too. Focus is critical. Pick one. Do it. Then pick another. Take caution to be too ambitious which separates us from our 'lists'. Then they become lists. Focus. One step. Then another. Works for me.
ReplyDelete