Online Dating

This is ridiculous. I can’t stand online dating, but I still do it. I’m glad it tends to work for some people, but not really for this guy. I’m not sure if that just says something about myself, or what, but in my opinion I’m quite a catch, and I feel I deserve responses. I look for girls and message them if I feel we have enough in common to talk and/or hang out. I’m mainly looking for friends to go out and do things with. Most of my friends are in relationships and don’t really do much because they are huge homebodys’. When they do go out with me, it’s never really where I want to go, and I’m tired of being a third wheel. I’ve been that way too much, too long (that story is going to come in another post). The friends who aren’t in a relationships, which is very, very few, don’t do much either.

I like to sit at home and watch movies, surf the net for random and/or useful information, or play games and such. I also like to go out dancing, playing games somewhere else (bowling, putt-putt, billiards, etc...), experience new places, or go on random adventures. I will stay out late and wake up early for work if I have to. My work is crazy, so, I have a crazy sleep schedule, and I’m a night owl to boot. I like to have fun, have interesting conversations, or even simply enjoy someone’s company, which means just having someone there.

Now, I’m down to where I really don’t have anyone, not even “just a friend” to call up and say, “hey, you wanna go out and do this?” Is it worse to say that I find shit to do at home rather than go out just because no one will go with me? Or is it worse to go do things, and simply wander around alone? The bad thing about wandering around alone or doing things alone, is it’s kinda boring. Not to say I’m a boring person, but I like to do things for others, do things with others, and do things just to entertain or see others reactions. When I do this on my own, I’m considered crazy or stupid. I’m easily adaptable, laid back, nice, respectable guy, and I don’t understand why I have so few friends now, and why I don’t get responses for online dating.




Any time I try to meet women the proper way, which is getting out and actually meeting them, I run into ones that are taken. I’ve pursed a taken girl before, and it didn’t go well. So, I avoid women in relationships almost all together, unless there’s a certain reason. I also don’t have much time to be able to go out and meet girls, and where are the best places to go and meet women anyway? I don’t really want to meet a girl at a bar, unless all I want is for us to be physically attracted to each other, and have fun a few times that night, then never speak or see each other again. That’s not what I want...well, honestly a part of me wouldn’t mind, but that still would lead me to the point that I wouldn’t have anyone to go out and do things with.

I just don’t know how to present myself properly to women over writing and posting pictures. Because I guarantee if they could meet me in person they’d have a really hard time not liking me, or not having fun with me, at least. I’d also like to say that my public self is different than my private self, if you know what I mean.

I guess, overall, online dating sucks for me because girls don’t respond to my sweet and unique messages ( I don’t open up with, or say only “hey beautiful”, “damn girl you fine”, or “wanna get down and dirty? I got pics for ya.”). Very few girls even view my profile, and all of them, I repeat, ALL OF THEM never respond after viewing my profile. The only few that have responded to me, only responded because I messaged first. I think the guy should message first, but if girls are going to be overly picky and judgmental, then they have to grow some balls and message us first. The old fashioned ways are dead, or dying dramatically fast.

Since I’m a little old fashioned, I don’t like how some sites want you to pay for online dating. Why pay to try and meet someone? So, now guys have to pay to meet girls, if the girls want to meet at all, and pay for the date? Then, if something gets started they pay for a lot of other things in the relationship? This just makes no sense to me.

I have also come across dating sites where I get tons of messages, but all of them are girls wanting to get my credit card number, and watch them on their webcam. That doesn’t make sense to me either because you can find porn sites that you can watch girls on cam for free. So, if I have the option between giving credit info, and watching/”talking” to a girl through webcam, or free porn. I choose free porn.





Either I’m right in thinking online dating is just stupid, or I need someone to give me some pointers, and how to make it work in my favor. I also think that the woman I might actually want to meet and/or be with, wouldn’t be searching for people online. I’ve actually met two girls from online dating, and they didn’t work out well because, like I said, people are different in person than in an online profile, and writing messages. One may have worked out, but I was f an asshole because I had to blow her off since me and another person had started a relationship. Obviouslykind o, that relationship is over, otherwise I would not be in this position...again. I’m planning on writing a relationships post in the very near future, so, if you’re interested in reading/knowing, be on the lookout. That’s my opinion about online dating.

Positively Thinking Positive

“Look on the bright side!” “Things could be worse.” “Be a little more optimistic, and maybe things will turn out better.” I’ve heard all these things before, and much more. What does it mean to be positive all the time? How do some consider others “negative thinkers”? Is there a way to consider yourself realistic, taking and saying things the way they are, or even just having a cynical view of the world, and not be considered negative or pessimistic? Like I always say, I feel it lies in the necessary balance.

Being negative is focusing and concentrating on the bad events of your life, or just your day. Like if some stupid driver pisses you off, and you gripe about it all day, then your thinking negatively. It’s also considered negative if you beat yourself up all the time; living in your in-securities. You focus on thinking about what others could be thinking, wondering what they are saying about you. You need absolute reassurance that they enjoyed something you said or did. Otherwise, if they don’t say anything, then you automatically assume the worst.  Anything that is intrusive, aggressive, upsetting, depressing, or inappropriate is negative. This can lead to being a manic depressant, having OCD, or an anxiety disorder.

In my world, if something upsets me, then I express it. I can’t stop feeling, and it needs to come out instead of keeping it inside. I don’t see myself as focusing on it, or having it ruin my day. I just have strong feelings and opinions. I can say that I do think and look way too much into a lot of things, and I’m very insecure, but the way I see it is that I depend on others to like and enjoy what I’m doing because I don’t just do things for myself. I do things that help me stay grounded and sane, but I do it ultimately in hopes to help, teach, or inspire someone. In order for me to be happy, I have to make others happy.  I say certain things about people, and the way things are going in the world, and I speak about how much it upsets me, but I’m not trying to be negative. I’m just saying the facts of what is going on, and expressing my feelings. I’m empathetic to those who are treated wrong, and unequally. I’m a huge idealist with firm opinions. I believe things can be the way we all want. We just have to convince the majority of the population that it can work, and we can all do it together, but there are too many skeptics. These are the ones I feel as negative. The ones who just avoid the things around them because they “don’t want to worry about it”. If it’s not happening to them in their life, then they don’t care. I’m not saying that I’m doing everything right because I’m not. There’s so much more that I can/should  be doing to help, but I too am stuck in this zombified world. I can say I’m speaking out and doing more than some. I’m noticing and realizing certain things, and I’m beginning to prepare. I’m looking for my “call to action”, or my “open door”. So, to me, saying that we live in a messed up world full of ridiculous people upsets me, and we should ban together to do something about it; is basically saying what is real, not being negative.

Being positive is looking on the bright side of life. Forgetting the bad things, and remembering the good. Instead of saying, “That damn driver! Could’ve killed someone!” You say, “Well, at least I didn’t die, and I made it to my destination safely.” Always concentrate on your strengths, and don’t fret over your weaknesses. Positive thinking is like a muscle that you just work, learn to use it, and it gets stronger. Whatever it takes in order to make you feel better and happy about your future is being optimistic or positive. If you concentrate on all these things, and feel it inside you; know that’s what you want and what you can get, then, you will attract all that you want. You will feel brighter, and others will say, “There’s something different about you.” You will realize and notice that you enjoy your life much more than before. All you have to do, is stay positive.

I believe this 300%, but it’s easier said than done. That’s why I think it should be about the balance. I mean, let’s face it, shit’s going to happen, and you’re going to feel negative about it at some point. So, why runaway from it,  or block it? Embrace it, appreciate it, and learn from it. If you had to put yourself on a strict diet with no sugar, then how often would you think, “Damn, a doughnut sounds real freakin’ good right now”? I’d think about it every second. But if I just gave myself restrictions, I’d be better off.

When I put myself on a diet with no sugar, I really mean I can put sugar in my coffee and tea, and have one doughnut twice a week, but that’s all. I’d have myself a comfort zone and feel more inclined to probably put less sugar in my drinks because I’ll know that I’ll get what I really want, eventually, and soon. I’d have a goal for the week. Work my butt off for that delicious doughnut.. Mmmmm...




Sorry, went off on a tangent. Really thinking about doughnuts. Back to where I was, which was balancing positive and negative thinking. That says it right there. You have to balance it, otherwise it won’t work. How many things work with just the negative end of a battery? Or just the positive end? Right now, I can’t think of anything. I always see the + AND - symbols. That tells me you need both. Maybe I’m just blind.

I think it goes back to when I was a kid. All of us as kids said some nasty things to others. I would tell my sister, “You’re stupid.” Then, Mom would say, “Tell your sister you’re sorry” or, “Take it back!” For one, sorry can only go so far. Sometimes, sorry just doesn’t cut it. Secondly, you can’t take something back, it’s already been said. It’s out there. She already thinks I think she’s stupid. Sometimes some people remember moments like that all their life. It’s weird, but they do. I do. That’s why I think it should balance, or positive out weigh the negative. So, my mom could have said, “Okay, that means you better say you’re sorry, and say two nice things about her.” Cancel the negative out, and end on a positive. That sounds reasonable to me.

Next time your pissed off at a crazy driver, remember how upset you got, and what you said, then try and make sure that you feel equally as you did in that situation with a positive situation, and use equally positive words to express yourself about it. It may be a long shot, but it could work in your favor. At the end of the night before you go to bed you can say, “That damn driver pissed me off, but I got to eat the heck out of that lovely doughnut.”

I think if someone tells you they think you’re a negative person, then they have a personal problem with negativity. Meaning, they obviously don’t know how to overlook your negativity, and just continue being positive themselves. They certainly aren’t offering to help. So, when someone tells you, “You’re a sweet person, but you’re so negative", then they block you from contact,  you tell them, “Well, now that’s not very positive.”

If I do feel like I’m in a negative slump, then I have certain things that I like to do.
1) Read positive motivating quotes
2) Watch things I know will make me laugh
3) Read an uplifting book
4) Set a small short goal and achieve it
5) Write
6) Make art
7) Ask others for help and kind words
8) Exercise
9)Cuddle with my dog, Max
10) Drink and/or take drugs to pass out

All these things and more make bad days easier and faster to get through. Whatever it takes to make you feel better and get happy, then that’s the right positive thing to do. Always make sure your balanced.

I bought three books the other day to help be more positive: ‘The Daily Book of Positive Quotations’ by Linda Picone, ‘The Secret’ by Rhonda Byrne, and ‘The Happiness Project’ by Gretchen Rubin. I read the dated page everyday for the daily quotations. The quotes are great, thoughtful, and inspiring. I’ve started reading ‘The Secret’. I really like it and I have already seen the documentary movie over it, which is why I bought the book. I know I will like it because this movie told me things I already knew, but it put it in a manner where I could understand and relate. It hit me in the head, “Duh!” It also brought some light into things I didn’t know, which is better.I recommend the book and movie to everyone, especially those with depression, negative, or financial troubles. I haven’t started the other book, but it seems really cool and interesting.

What I’m trying to say is that you should never always be negative, or positive. They are both going to happen because they have to, and there’s no changing. Just lean more on the positive side. Don’t get so focused on avoiding real things that are there just because you “don’t want to worry about it”. As depressing as the world may be, you have to know what’s going on. Watch, learn, and understand the negative side to use it to your advantage. “Keep your friends close, but keep your enemies closer” can fit in this situation. Not only am I trying to convince you of all this, but I’m also convincing myself. I hope this helps people who need it like I did. Even if it just made you giggle, it’s an achievement.

“How far you go in life depends on your being tender with the young, compassionate with the aged, sympathetic with the striving, and tolerant of the weak and strong. Because someday in your life you will have been all of these.” ~ George Washington Carver, the quote for December 8 in ‘The Daily Book of Positive Quotes’







“One piece of wisdom that didn’t resonate with me initally was the importance with keeping happy memories vivid. But as I mulled over this principle, I realized the tremendous value of mementos that help prompt positive memories. Studies show that recalling happy times helps boost happiness in the present.When people reminisce, they focus on positive memories, with the result that recalling the past amplifies the positive and minimizes the negative.” ~ Gretchen Rubin in her book ‘The Happiness Project’

“Another thing people wonder about is, “How long will it take to manifest the car, the relationship, the money?” I don’t have any rule book that says it’s going to take thirty minutes or three days or thirty days. it’s more a matter of you being in alignment with the Universe itself.” ~ Dr. Joe Vitale from the book ‘The Secret’