Online Dating

This is ridiculous. I can’t stand online dating, but I still do it. I’m glad it tends to work for some people, but not really for this guy. I’m not sure if that just says something about myself, or what, but in my opinion I’m quite a catch, and I feel I deserve responses. I look for girls and message them if I feel we have enough in common to talk and/or hang out. I’m mainly looking for friends to go out and do things with. Most of my friends are in relationships and don’t really do much because they are huge homebodys’. When they do go out with me, it’s never really where I want to go, and I’m tired of being a third wheel. I’ve been that way too much, too long (that story is going to come in another post). The friends who aren’t in a relationships, which is very, very few, don’t do much either.

I like to sit at home and watch movies, surf the net for random and/or useful information, or play games and such. I also like to go out dancing, playing games somewhere else (bowling, putt-putt, billiards, etc...), experience new places, or go on random adventures. I will stay out late and wake up early for work if I have to. My work is crazy, so, I have a crazy sleep schedule, and I’m a night owl to boot. I like to have fun, have interesting conversations, or even simply enjoy someone’s company, which means just having someone there.

Now, I’m down to where I really don’t have anyone, not even “just a friend” to call up and say, “hey, you wanna go out and do this?” Is it worse to say that I find shit to do at home rather than go out just because no one will go with me? Or is it worse to go do things, and simply wander around alone? The bad thing about wandering around alone or doing things alone, is it’s kinda boring. Not to say I’m a boring person, but I like to do things for others, do things with others, and do things just to entertain or see others reactions. When I do this on my own, I’m considered crazy or stupid. I’m easily adaptable, laid back, nice, respectable guy, and I don’t understand why I have so few friends now, and why I don’t get responses for online dating.




Any time I try to meet women the proper way, which is getting out and actually meeting them, I run into ones that are taken. I’ve pursed a taken girl before, and it didn’t go well. So, I avoid women in relationships almost all together, unless there’s a certain reason. I also don’t have much time to be able to go out and meet girls, and where are the best places to go and meet women anyway? I don’t really want to meet a girl at a bar, unless all I want is for us to be physically attracted to each other, and have fun a few times that night, then never speak or see each other again. That’s not what I want...well, honestly a part of me wouldn’t mind, but that still would lead me to the point that I wouldn’t have anyone to go out and do things with.

I just don’t know how to present myself properly to women over writing and posting pictures. Because I guarantee if they could meet me in person they’d have a really hard time not liking me, or not having fun with me, at least. I’d also like to say that my public self is different than my private self, if you know what I mean.

I guess, overall, online dating sucks for me because girls don’t respond to my sweet and unique messages ( I don’t open up with, or say only “hey beautiful”, “damn girl you fine”, or “wanna get down and dirty? I got pics for ya.”). Very few girls even view my profile, and all of them, I repeat, ALL OF THEM never respond after viewing my profile. The only few that have responded to me, only responded because I messaged first. I think the guy should message first, but if girls are going to be overly picky and judgmental, then they have to grow some balls and message us first. The old fashioned ways are dead, or dying dramatically fast.

Since I’m a little old fashioned, I don’t like how some sites want you to pay for online dating. Why pay to try and meet someone? So, now guys have to pay to meet girls, if the girls want to meet at all, and pay for the date? Then, if something gets started they pay for a lot of other things in the relationship? This just makes no sense to me.

I have also come across dating sites where I get tons of messages, but all of them are girls wanting to get my credit card number, and watch them on their webcam. That doesn’t make sense to me either because you can find porn sites that you can watch girls on cam for free. So, if I have the option between giving credit info, and watching/”talking” to a girl through webcam, or free porn. I choose free porn.





Either I’m right in thinking online dating is just stupid, or I need someone to give me some pointers, and how to make it work in my favor. I also think that the woman I might actually want to meet and/or be with, wouldn’t be searching for people online. I’ve actually met two girls from online dating, and they didn’t work out well because, like I said, people are different in person than in an online profile, and writing messages. One may have worked out, but I was f an asshole because I had to blow her off since me and another person had started a relationship. Obviouslykind o, that relationship is over, otherwise I would not be in this position...again. I’m planning on writing a relationships post in the very near future, so, if you’re interested in reading/knowing, be on the lookout. That’s my opinion about online dating.

Positively Thinking Positive

“Look on the bright side!” “Things could be worse.” “Be a little more optimistic, and maybe things will turn out better.” I’ve heard all these things before, and much more. What does it mean to be positive all the time? How do some consider others “negative thinkers”? Is there a way to consider yourself realistic, taking and saying things the way they are, or even just having a cynical view of the world, and not be considered negative or pessimistic? Like I always say, I feel it lies in the necessary balance.

Being negative is focusing and concentrating on the bad events of your life, or just your day. Like if some stupid driver pisses you off, and you gripe about it all day, then your thinking negatively. It’s also considered negative if you beat yourself up all the time; living in your in-securities. You focus on thinking about what others could be thinking, wondering what they are saying about you. You need absolute reassurance that they enjoyed something you said or did. Otherwise, if they don’t say anything, then you automatically assume the worst.  Anything that is intrusive, aggressive, upsetting, depressing, or inappropriate is negative. This can lead to being a manic depressant, having OCD, or an anxiety disorder.

In my world, if something upsets me, then I express it. I can’t stop feeling, and it needs to come out instead of keeping it inside. I don’t see myself as focusing on it, or having it ruin my day. I just have strong feelings and opinions. I can say that I do think and look way too much into a lot of things, and I’m very insecure, but the way I see it is that I depend on others to like and enjoy what I’m doing because I don’t just do things for myself. I do things that help me stay grounded and sane, but I do it ultimately in hopes to help, teach, or inspire someone. In order for me to be happy, I have to make others happy.  I say certain things about people, and the way things are going in the world, and I speak about how much it upsets me, but I’m not trying to be negative. I’m just saying the facts of what is going on, and expressing my feelings. I’m empathetic to those who are treated wrong, and unequally. I’m a huge idealist with firm opinions. I believe things can be the way we all want. We just have to convince the majority of the population that it can work, and we can all do it together, but there are too many skeptics. These are the ones I feel as negative. The ones who just avoid the things around them because they “don’t want to worry about it”. If it’s not happening to them in their life, then they don’t care. I’m not saying that I’m doing everything right because I’m not. There’s so much more that I can/should  be doing to help, but I too am stuck in this zombified world. I can say I’m speaking out and doing more than some. I’m noticing and realizing certain things, and I’m beginning to prepare. I’m looking for my “call to action”, or my “open door”. So, to me, saying that we live in a messed up world full of ridiculous people upsets me, and we should ban together to do something about it; is basically saying what is real, not being negative.

Being positive is looking on the bright side of life. Forgetting the bad things, and remembering the good. Instead of saying, “That damn driver! Could’ve killed someone!” You say, “Well, at least I didn’t die, and I made it to my destination safely.” Always concentrate on your strengths, and don’t fret over your weaknesses. Positive thinking is like a muscle that you just work, learn to use it, and it gets stronger. Whatever it takes in order to make you feel better and happy about your future is being optimistic or positive. If you concentrate on all these things, and feel it inside you; know that’s what you want and what you can get, then, you will attract all that you want. You will feel brighter, and others will say, “There’s something different about you.” You will realize and notice that you enjoy your life much more than before. All you have to do, is stay positive.

I believe this 300%, but it’s easier said than done. That’s why I think it should be about the balance. I mean, let’s face it, shit’s going to happen, and you’re going to feel negative about it at some point. So, why runaway from it,  or block it? Embrace it, appreciate it, and learn from it. If you had to put yourself on a strict diet with no sugar, then how often would you think, “Damn, a doughnut sounds real freakin’ good right now”? I’d think about it every second. But if I just gave myself restrictions, I’d be better off.

When I put myself on a diet with no sugar, I really mean I can put sugar in my coffee and tea, and have one doughnut twice a week, but that’s all. I’d have myself a comfort zone and feel more inclined to probably put less sugar in my drinks because I’ll know that I’ll get what I really want, eventually, and soon. I’d have a goal for the week. Work my butt off for that delicious doughnut.. Mmmmm...




Sorry, went off on a tangent. Really thinking about doughnuts. Back to where I was, which was balancing positive and negative thinking. That says it right there. You have to balance it, otherwise it won’t work. How many things work with just the negative end of a battery? Or just the positive end? Right now, I can’t think of anything. I always see the + AND - symbols. That tells me you need both. Maybe I’m just blind.

I think it goes back to when I was a kid. All of us as kids said some nasty things to others. I would tell my sister, “You’re stupid.” Then, Mom would say, “Tell your sister you’re sorry” or, “Take it back!” For one, sorry can only go so far. Sometimes, sorry just doesn’t cut it. Secondly, you can’t take something back, it’s already been said. It’s out there. She already thinks I think she’s stupid. Sometimes some people remember moments like that all their life. It’s weird, but they do. I do. That’s why I think it should balance, or positive out weigh the negative. So, my mom could have said, “Okay, that means you better say you’re sorry, and say two nice things about her.” Cancel the negative out, and end on a positive. That sounds reasonable to me.

Next time your pissed off at a crazy driver, remember how upset you got, and what you said, then try and make sure that you feel equally as you did in that situation with a positive situation, and use equally positive words to express yourself about it. It may be a long shot, but it could work in your favor. At the end of the night before you go to bed you can say, “That damn driver pissed me off, but I got to eat the heck out of that lovely doughnut.”

I think if someone tells you they think you’re a negative person, then they have a personal problem with negativity. Meaning, they obviously don’t know how to overlook your negativity, and just continue being positive themselves. They certainly aren’t offering to help. So, when someone tells you, “You’re a sweet person, but you’re so negative", then they block you from contact,  you tell them, “Well, now that’s not very positive.”

If I do feel like I’m in a negative slump, then I have certain things that I like to do.
1) Read positive motivating quotes
2) Watch things I know will make me laugh
3) Read an uplifting book
4) Set a small short goal and achieve it
5) Write
6) Make art
7) Ask others for help and kind words
8) Exercise
9)Cuddle with my dog, Max
10) Drink and/or take drugs to pass out

All these things and more make bad days easier and faster to get through. Whatever it takes to make you feel better and get happy, then that’s the right positive thing to do. Always make sure your balanced.

I bought three books the other day to help be more positive: ‘The Daily Book of Positive Quotations’ by Linda Picone, ‘The Secret’ by Rhonda Byrne, and ‘The Happiness Project’ by Gretchen Rubin. I read the dated page everyday for the daily quotations. The quotes are great, thoughtful, and inspiring. I’ve started reading ‘The Secret’. I really like it and I have already seen the documentary movie over it, which is why I bought the book. I know I will like it because this movie told me things I already knew, but it put it in a manner where I could understand and relate. It hit me in the head, “Duh!” It also brought some light into things I didn’t know, which is better.I recommend the book and movie to everyone, especially those with depression, negative, or financial troubles. I haven’t started the other book, but it seems really cool and interesting.

What I’m trying to say is that you should never always be negative, or positive. They are both going to happen because they have to, and there’s no changing. Just lean more on the positive side. Don’t get so focused on avoiding real things that are there just because you “don’t want to worry about it”. As depressing as the world may be, you have to know what’s going on. Watch, learn, and understand the negative side to use it to your advantage. “Keep your friends close, but keep your enemies closer” can fit in this situation. Not only am I trying to convince you of all this, but I’m also convincing myself. I hope this helps people who need it like I did. Even if it just made you giggle, it’s an achievement.

“How far you go in life depends on your being tender with the young, compassionate with the aged, sympathetic with the striving, and tolerant of the weak and strong. Because someday in your life you will have been all of these.” ~ George Washington Carver, the quote for December 8 in ‘The Daily Book of Positive Quotes’







“One piece of wisdom that didn’t resonate with me initally was the importance with keeping happy memories vivid. But as I mulled over this principle, I realized the tremendous value of mementos that help prompt positive memories. Studies show that recalling happy times helps boost happiness in the present.When people reminisce, they focus on positive memories, with the result that recalling the past amplifies the positive and minimizes the negative.” ~ Gretchen Rubin in her book ‘The Happiness Project’

“Another thing people wonder about is, “How long will it take to manifest the car, the relationship, the money?” I don’t have any rule book that says it’s going to take thirty minutes or three days or thirty days. it’s more a matter of you being in alignment with the Universe itself.” ~ Dr. Joe Vitale from the book ‘The Secret’

A Look in the Mirror

If you read my last post about Black Friday, then you will know most of the story here. After those comments that I posted, some more messages went back and forth. I won't post, or tell people word for word unless people actually care. All in all, it was a bunch of insulting personal remarks. After searching through all the comments it boils down to him calling me stupid, obese, rude, offensive, disrespectful, self-centered, self-righteous, arrogant, a jerk, a hater, jealous, have anger issues, pompous, and an idiot. All from a small initial remark.

I never once said something insulting to him. He says I was implying insults. I would like to clarify that I said I thought it was ridiculous that people wait 8 hours, and camp to buy cheap things. Some people think the war is ridiculous. Some think watching football is ridiculous. People don't get offended if you say something like that. Then, it comes down to the fact I said that consumerism initiates a major problem in our world/society. That means people wait and fight for things. People get shot, pepper sprayed, etc... Only to buy something that will probably not get used that much, and just wasted in the end. When you throw something out, where does it go? There can only be so many hand-me-downs, or re-selling items. Do they recycle all of this stuff that is being consumed. Do they donate all of this stuff to needy people? In some cases yes, but it only goes so far. Imagine if we all had to wait and fight for food and water. If people act like this for buying things, then everyone will probably kill each other. I'm not trying to be pompous or self-righteous. I'm just discussing things that I've seen and witnessed. I understand that consumerism is giving jobs to people, but it's really not because if it were, then there wouldn't be so many out of jobs. Big places replace people with machines, or people who will work harder for cheaper, am I wrong? How much does it cost to make a TV? We'll say for these purposes $80. Now, on a regular basis, they may sell this TV for $300. Now, Black Friday comes along, and they do one of two things, make the TV worth $40, and sell it for $150; or just sell the $80 for $200. Sure, you're getting an item closer to the value, but is it worth it?

Whatever, it doesn't matter. What matters is he insulted me when I made a general remark. I started to take up for myself, and never used negative words, or insulted him. Then, he says for me to leave him alone, or it will be considered harassment. But how can I just take it? I feel like I'm not standing up for myself if he gets the last word and says horrible things about me. I don't think I'm any of these bad things, and I wouldn't think I would be like this. Obviously, there is some truth. I lost a different "friend" because they thought that I was one, if not all these things. Not only did this other person stop being my friend, but they blocked me completely. I was just with this person on Thanksgiving, and I don't believe I did anything wrong towards them, but I guess I did.

This is where I start to feel torn apart. I'm trying to re-evaluate my life now. I don't know what to do with myself. I'm just trying to be me, and all I want is for everyone to be happy, get treated equally, and people get what they deserve. I'm trying to continue my life, and be positive, but even when I'm trying to be positive and fight for what I think is right, I still get insults. I'm not trying to say that I'm right. Everything I say and do is right. That's not me. I'm an idealist with firm opinions. I know I shouldn't care what other people think, but I do when my motivation is to take care of others. That's my job, literally, to cater to people's needs.

I guess I'm just trying to be respectful and be the bigger man and leave this person alone, even though it's killing me. Now, I'm trying to justify myself here on my public blog. I want to prove I do not fit any of these insulting remarks, but I don't know how. How can I fix something I don't see? After losing this one person, I really feel sick to my stomach. I wish people would just communicate with me, and help me if I need it. I thought I'd been feeling good recently, and just rolling with the tide. This being after my depression stage, now I feel my life in a tumble again. Is my life going the direction I want it, or where it's supposed to go? I still haven't found my place anywhere. No "home". I don't fit in. Should I just stick to cooking? Should I continue writing and acting? Should I just live my life in solitude? I mean, I feel really bad, and confused with everything.

Who is this person staring back at me? It's not the same as in the past, but is it who I wanted to see for the future? Is this who I want to see now? Where will you go? What will you do? Who will you be? The image changes constantly.

 "We judge ourselves by what we feel capable of doing, while others judge us by what we have already done."~ Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

"Life is like a permanent job interview. We walk into the interview feeling as if we are capable of doing almost anything- if life just gave us a chance. But life insists on asking us what we've actually done. A kind person is a person who acts kindly to others. An honest person is a person who tells the truth and is fair to others. Understanding what others see in us can help us become more like the person we perceives ourselves to be. I wonder what others think when they look at me. I will take a hard look at myself to make sure my actions align with the person I believe I am." ~ from 'The Daily Book of Positive Quotations' by Linda Picone

Black Friday 2011

What I'm going to do is post a conversation I had with someone. They are unnamed out of respect. Some may know what I'm talking about, but many won't. It shows my thoughts and feelings on Black Friday, and shows a view of someone on the other side. I will let you all read and come up with things on your own, so you can decide what really concerns you. Note, this is not a personal attack to anyone, but merely my opinions, and the opinion of another, but I think the topic and issues at hand are very important right now. I will have some closing remarks, and videos at the end. Please, feel free to have open discussions in the comments section.

 Conversation:

Initial statement from ME:

So, at about 4ish today, I drove by Best Buy to see many many people waiting outside for them to open at midnight. You realize how ridiculous you people are, right?

2nd statement from ME (regarding someone saying that they are waiting until 4-6am to shop).

‎1) still feel like it will be crowded 2) You may not get the shoes you want and 3) the other 2 make it all not worth shopping at all. It's just stuff, and manufacturers plan for this crap, so, when you buy cheaper, you get cheaper products. Jus sayin'...

1st Statement from THEM:

 I actually take offense. When it comes to video games and other such electronic equipment, you are getting the same product you would at half the price. You can think that's ridiculous, I think it's a good deal.
Also, how ridiculous were we when you drove out simply to look at us? Haters gonna hate I guess.




ME:
I was driving to Pluckers, and Best Buy was on the way, and some of those ridiculous people were also disrespectful and stupid because they were in the way of others actually trying to get places. Stopping in the middle of the road to unload groups to sit and wait. I still stand firm on the fact that even video games and electronic equipment are just things. Why go through all that trouble to get something, that pretty much had no life value, only because it's cheaper. There are other things some people can spend their time and money on other than waiting to compete with others in order to buy things cheap. I like electronics and games as much as the next person, but I don't schedule my life to get these things cheaper before everyone else. It all instigates the overall problem with our world/society.

THEM:
Listen, you can sit there and spout "It's just things, man" but if you like video games as much as you say, you appreciate the value of a good deal. And I honestly believe the bigger problem in society is people, such as you, who think they are superior to everyone else. Elitism does exist, as you prove by living and breathing. I'm sorry I got in your way because I enjoy getting the people I care about gifts for the Holidays. Sorry I don't have enough money to blow, but I think you should be a little respectful toward those of us that aren't made of money. Also, Pluckers? "That's just wings, man." And in the end you were doing the same thing I was, spending money in public.

ME:
I never said I was superior to everyone else. I was only wondering why people do these things, which only involves the people camping hours at a time to buy things. I feel the same way about people camping to see movies. Wait a little bit, and when things die down, then go, and get a better experience. I do appreciate the value of a good deal, but I'm not going to wait and fight for it when I didn't need it. I didn't go to Plucker's to spend money in public. I went to watch the football game because I don't have cable, and I didn't have to wait 8 hours to do all of that, so, how does it compare to the situation? I never said that I have plenty of money to blow. I'm not made of money, I work hard, and conserve my money for things that work better for me. If video games make things better for you, then great, play them, buy them. That still doesn't make me understand the major point of camping out for hours to get "value out of a good deal". People don't camp outside waiting to vote. If people did, then maybe voting would matter more, and make more of a difference to a larger majority. Notice, I'm speaking about a large majority of public, not taking personal attacks. You sir, made this whole ordeal personal, which is not cool. I sympathize with you, and apologize you took offense to a general statement of wonderment. I hope things start working out better for you.

THEM:
    Let me start off with saying I have no ill feelings toward you, nor do I think of you in a negative light. I know you didn't like me when we first met, I believe it had to do with [deleted for personal reason] not that it matters, but since that point I believe we have always been cordial and friendly, and I don't intend for that to change.

    Calling you an elitist was a bit personal, but let's be honest, this had already taken a personal turn. I'm not sure if you intended to say this, as I've always known you to be a mostly kind person, but calling me stupid, disrespectful and a part of the major problem with society and/or the world made this personal, and frankly, it ticked me off and hurt my feelings.

    I decided to send you this message instead of posting [in public] with an argument, which I also honestly don't even feel like arguing in general.

    I guess we are just going to have to kindly agree to disagree, as you don't seem to understand the point I'm trying to make, which is saving money on gifts for Holidays is not ridiculous, and honestly very understandable behavior.

    P.S. Thanks for the concern, but I'm actually doing good. Hope you are well.

ME:
Okay, see that's what I was saying. If you read the comment. I didn't call YOU stupid, disrespectful, or part of the problem. I said,

“I was driving to Pluckers, and Best Buy was on the way, and some of those ridiculous people were also disrespectful and stupid because they were in the way of others actually trying to get places. Stopping in the middle of the road to unload groups to sit and wait.”

How does this even remotely relate to you? Were you one of those people in [deleted] Best Buy near [deleted]? I don’t believe you were.

It’s the whole idea of making shopping a huge deal and festival that is the problem. How do you think people feel who can’t afford even the sales? I mean, all this consumerism just beats them down and makes them feel worse, and kids think that their parents don’t care or love them because some other freakin’ kid has cooler toys.

How is buying things the most important and best thing to give someone over the holidays. You enjoy the simple pleasures. Be there, do things, help out, show your care and love. All that costs is time and effort, which is free as far as money is concerned. 

Not only did you call me an elitist, but count how many times you said “you” in all of your comments. Now, count how many times I said "you" in all my comments. The term “you” is a direct personal statement.

There was absolutely no reason for you to take anything personally, except maybe because I said it’s ridiculous for people to wait 8 hours to get in a store to compete with others and fight for something on a good sale. People are dying and getting pepper sprayed because of shopping. How does that not sound ridiculous? I believe I do understand what you’re saying. I don’t believe you understand my point.

I am a kind person, and I’m trying to get people to realize that there are better things to do for your loved ones rather than buying gifts at cheap prices. Make them something. Buy from the heart, and don’t be concerned with what is in your pocket. And once again, my ultimate statement concerned waiting and camping for 8 hours or more to get in a store and buy things. That has nothing to do with buying cheap holiday gifts. The focus is put on the waiting portion.

We do have to kindly agree to disagree. You need to not take things so personal, then start blasting someone on public sites about things you have no idea about. I don’t appreciate it.

And why bring up the past? No, I didn’t like you because [deleted personal] Pure jealousy I admit, but that has no regards to the present moment.



END CONVERSATION


So, who is out of line here? What are your thoughts, opinions, and feelings? I personally don't like the holidays because of all of this nonsense. I admit, I bought things, but it was a few books and movies. I bought my little sister something, and my mother something. It's not much, but it came from the heart, and I know they will love it. I didn't have to wait any amount of time, or fight anyone, and it was still cheap. I'm trying to write a holiday story and read to the family as a gift. Is that bad? Does that make me a bad person?

All these "things" people buy just get thrown out and wasted in the end. No one is crowded outside their city hall making sure all this waste isn't waste, and I feel that is a more important issue, not shopping.
There are people "occupying Wall Street" for money reasons causing riots and such, and yet, there is still Black Friday. Some places apparently have music, food, and stuff for the people who are waiting. It's a Shop Fest. Just pushing people to buy more stuff. If the government gets control like they want to, then people will start thinking, "Oh, maybe I should have spent money buying food, water, weapons, or brushing up on my survival skills, instead of waiting and fighting for that 52" LCD screen that I'll never get to watch cool shit on anymore."This whole thing just goes to show you more of what really happens during the holidays.

I mean...I don't know. I'm purely baffled, and feel justified that I've made my point. I'm ready to have discussions if anyone feels the need.

Very Harold and Kumar 3-D Christmas Review

     Okay, I've been thinking it's kind of weird that I've never written a movie review on my blog, or at all really. I love movies, and feel I'm very knowledgeable about them. I would really like to start making my own. For now, I watch, study, enjoy, and continue to be simply be addicted to them. Oddly enough, my first review will be on Harold and Kumar 3, yes, that's right.

Not to say that this movie was so spectacular that I just had to write about it, I want to write a review, and this is the most recent movie I've seen in theaters. I thought this movie was ridiculously funny. It's the same dumb humor as the other two. They find themselves running around getting into shit, after they haven't seen each other in years. Harold is married to the ever so beautiful Maria, played by Paula Garces. Kumar lives in his apartment, is a huge stoner, and is still dealing with the break-up with Vanessa, who is also gorgeous. Kumar recieves a package addressed to Harold, and Kumar decides to to bring Harold the package, even though it's been so long. That's where everything unfolds.

Possible spoilers from here on out.

Kumar's friend, Adrian takes Kumar to Harold's house and is with him throughout majority of the movie. Harold's friend, Todd (Officer Dangel from Reno 911), has his little girl with him. A lot of the comedy comes from Todd, and his little girl being involved in many situations with Harold and Kumar.

Harold has just met Maria's whole family who came to stay for the holidays. Maria's Dad is played by Danny Trejo ('Machete'), who I think is awesome. Harold gets a huge holiday lashing from the father about his choice of Christmas Tree, and has brought his own that he took 8 years to grow. Maria and the family leave for mass, and Harold is in charge of making the tree look perfect. Here's when Kumar arrives.

Harold hears Kumar slip on the sidewalk, and comes out. He invites him in to catch up. Harold opens the pakage to find a huge joint. Kumar lights it and Harold throws it out the window, but, of course, it magically glides out the window, into another window, and onto the Christmas Tree. The tree catches fire, and they push it out the window. Harold blames Kumar for it all, and asks him to leave.

Here's where they get the motivation for the movie. Kumar tries to do something special and find a tree for Harold, and Harold is doing the same. They run back into each other, and work together to find another tree while running into trouble and some great characters.

They go to a party full of young teens playing beer pong, having sex, and doing all kinds of drugs. The kids throwing the party at their house are children of a mob boss, Elias Koteas (Stuart in 'Look Whose Talking'). The mob boss's daughter tries to get her virginity taken from Adrian and Harold. That's when daddy walks in. Todd, Adrian, and Todd's little girl are trapped in the closet. The little girl is hyped up on cocaine, and high after being smoked out with marijuana by Kumar, and the boss sits outside the door, not knowing they're in the closet. Harold and Kumar got drugged at the party, and are running around in clay-mation land through the city.

They also run into Neil Patrick Harris, duh, while he is singing and dancing for a holiday show. You may have seen Neil die in the second, but if you watch after the credits you see a surprise. Of course, NPH gives his story on how he's alive, and it has nothing to do with the surprise, but it's really absurd and funny.

Then, Harold and Kumar are stranded somewhere in the city. Harold finds a shotgun and shoots it in the air, hoping someone will hear it and help them, but he ends up shooting Santa in the face as he is passing by delivering gifts. Kumar's medical experience pays off big, and Santa gives them a ride home.

There's a happy ending, and a slight moral value at the end. Overall, I liked the movie. It compares more to the first movie, rather than the second. There's a lot of stupid jokes, but jokes compared to the original, and not the constant racial sterotype jokes as the sequel; although there are race jokes in this one. This movie is also really fun and cool to watch in 3-D. They do alot of comedic neat things throughout specifically for 3-D entertainment. In one of NPH's last lines in the film he references a fourth movie...I'd watch it.

I give it 8 out of 10, two thumbs up with a goofy smile, and a deep belly laugh.

World Trading Disasters

As per request, I’m going to tell my side of the other day that will live in infamy. I’ve been waiting on a time when I feel like I can do a general rant, and focus on 9/11. In order for me to get the full side/story out, I’m going to get personal, and describe my day that day. Basically, I’m going to answer the old question of, “Where were you when the towers fell?” Then, I’ll slip into my thoughts and views as the years have progressed.

The day the towers fell, 9/11/01, I was 15 and a student at Orangefield High School. I was in my Chemistry class, and the bell rang for us to go to our next class. I’m walking down the hallways, and I’m hearing commotion. I couldn’t tell what everyone was saying, but I knew it was bad. I got scared for like a bomb threat, a school shooting, or something. I just continued to my class, History class, which still to this day makes me laugh that I was going into History to see history, from my Chemistry class which can teach you how to make bombs. Crazy shit, right? Anyway, my teacher was staring intently at the TV. Everyone was watching. People gathered in the halls to stop and watch. I sat down in my seat, at the front near the TV. We were entranced by the the first tower just billowing with smoke. As we are all viewing, we see the second plane hit. I couldn’t believe it. I saw on national TV, along with everyone else, a terrible tragedy that would forever stain my mind, and everyone’s life. I then heard reports of people jumping to their death. It’s horrific. No matter who was the cause of this, they are horrible people and deserve to suffer the worst karma imaginable. If this wasn’t tragic enough, I had to leave school during the whole shit to go to my grandmothers rosary (Catholic viewing of the recently deceased). It was my dad’s mother, she was awesome. Some great memories of her, but that’s a whole other story (may she rest in peace).

After the rosary we all went back to my grandparents house to eat and mourn. My grandfather didn’t take it well at all, but that’s understandable, especially with his situation. While we were there we had the news on, and they kept repeating the planes hitting, the towers collapsing, and Osama Bin Laden being the man in charge. I don’t ever remember the President speaking or anything. The entire day continued to be depressing.

A few months or years passed, and they eventually came out with the 9/11 documentary film that was the one that started off revolving around the firefighter in NYC, then follows them to the towers. It was intense. It gets you literally inside the towers. You can hear bodies of the people jumping hitting the concrete. In some frames, you can see the bodies. If I remember correctly, they were in the basement of one of the towers as it collapsed, either that, or they got out just before. Either way, I swear I heard bombs go off, but it could’ve been the bodies again, but hearing and seeing the collapse was nuts. Then, seeing all the people in the street covered in debris. People running down the street, jumping into businesses to get away from the wave of smoke and debris. Windows shattering, vehicles shaking. It was chaos. That film got to me. A true horror film.

I remember at some point hearing about building 7 collapsing, the Pentagon being hit, and the plane in Pennsylvania. It was tragic, but I didn’t think or look into it too much. It wasn’t until after college when I started reading about it, watching documentaries, etc... Getting different views, and stories. I watched one about some wives who were questioning the government and such about their husbands, and stories weren’t sinking up. For years the government gives them the run around, giving no conclusive evidence of anything.

I watched another documentary about how the American military had trained Al Quidea in the past because we sold them weapons, and we had to train them how to use them. It also dealt with W’s involvement with Osama, and how that they had a background, and there is this big ordeal on oil and gas, and Osama wasn’t in with W, or our country. He wouldn’t make a deal. I remember watching videos of W during that day. He was reading for elementary kids, and someone whispers in his ear, and W gives this weird look. He says that he didn’t want to alarm the children, but that’s not what I got from the look. What I got was, “Oh shit, they did it.” Or, “Okay it’s done. Phase 2.” Whatever look it was, it certainly didn’t come off as a shock, surprise, or horrific. It seemed like he just kind of blew it off.

I remember reading an article for the 9th anniversary of the event, and it was talking about how approximately 900 people who were helping that day have died since then. People who were there before, during, and after the collapse helping others get medical help, get to safety, and digging up all the debris have died because they helped. They died from diseases, viruses, infections, etc... They died from things that could have been treated, but they didn’t have the money to do so. The government did not help as they said they would. 100 people a year died, due to the government. It’s tragic. Shortly after getting worked up abut that, I discovered my favorite documentary about 9/11. ‘In Plane Site’ is a guy giving you all the videos that have been given to the public of that day. I believe it’s four different people in four different places getting the same thing on film at the same time. It’s crazy, you can see the planes from four different angles. He also goes in depth with the Pentagon, and others.

Things he talks about was not a surprise, but eye opening. In all the different angles you can see the planes from under, and it looks like something is attached to the bottom of the plane. A normal commercial plane does not have that, and if one did have that, it would take a lot of time and effort to put it there, and would be found out before the plane took off. Therefore, it couldn’t have been a commercial plane as the media says, unless it was a deep inside job. There is also a flash seen on the glass of the building just before the plane hits, other people yelling about how it’s not a commercial plane, or American plane, and one man who was a pilot says it wasn’t a normal plane based simply off the size. People also talked about seeing and hearing explosions as the buildings collapsed, about what the buildings were made of, the blue prints, and how these buildings could collapse the way they did. The only it could be was by chemical demolition explosions. Even judging by what was left behind after the collapse you can tell something else was involved.

He talks about the Pentagon and shows an in-depth computer simulation of a plane going into the building, the video that the media gives us, and the after picture. There is no way a plane flew into that building, unless the wings broke off before it hit the building, and the plane disintegrated completely, but that seems impossible. There are no plane pieces, no burning marks on furniture close by the hole, and no one was hurt, in fact, no one was there at all. The only video that the media gives is of one camera from one angle, and there’s a glitch. You see nothing, then a flash, and the Pentagon with a hole. It had to have been a missile of sorts.

Then, the Pennsylvania plane disappeared as well, there was just a hole. Also, the same flight number that was said to have crashed, 91 I believe it was, actually touched down in Illinois, I think, minutes before. How can Flight 91 be in two places at once? What trips me up more is that was the flight where the whole ordeal with the passenger being a hero came up. The guy who fought the terrorist who was armed with a box cutter, brought him down, and took the plane with them before they crashed into some place else. So, this area hasn’t been looked into enough, but it’s still weird that no plane remnants were there.

Also, building 7 just collapsed on its own, like a demolition, and no one was hurt. The media says it had an infrastructure fire, and couldn’t handle the weight of the debris from the other towers. Yeah, right. One guy that was interviewed said that building was supposed to be “pulled.”

The man doing this great documentary makes a very great point at the beginning. He talks about how you can call all of these things “conspiracy theories”, but if there is evidence to back it up, and there is no sold evidence to back up the other side, then it is no longer a “theory”, it’s a “possibility.” I’m not saying that I believe anything too firmly, but after everything that I’ve looked into turns me more toward the idea that our government did this. They did this to get back at countries who won’t follow our way, to have oil, money, and power. They say we are fighting terrorists. I think we are the terrorists. Terrorists seek to accomplish things by means of using fear. They are doing it to control us, and others. Other countries can easily see us as terrorists. We are in their homeland killing people, and blowing things up. Innocent people are dying because we’re hunting down bad guys. I can’t be a patriotic person with these thoughts on my conscious. I think we did it to ourselves, and we’re only making things worse. We’re just pissing people off, and they will retaliate with great force, unless we do it to ourselves.

Now, riots are breaking out all over the world. People are killing their leaders. Everyone is starting to fight for true freedom. Our government is keeping many secrets from us, they always have. I will make a reference to a great book that I enjoy, and recommend it to anyone who wants to read more into stuff like this. The book is ‘Behold a Pale Horse’ by William Cooper. Tons of need to know info.

The revolution is at hand. Choose a side and fight. We shouldn’t have to get things done by fighting, but in order to have a future with complete peace, you’re gonna have to have a massive fight for things to be realized. It’s all happened before. Humans will never learn, it seems. There are plenty of people here to help bring things together, and put things on the right track, but something bad has to happen to bring them all together to complete their destiny. Destruction is not just an ending, but a beginning. 

In An Instant

I sit with my head down, and arms crossed.
A very closed off position.
I don’t want to talk to anyone. I have nothing but negative things to say.
My self esteem and confidence is shot.
I go to sit alone at a bar, and drink my sorrows away.
Once I start feeling good and saucy, I meet someone.
We talk, laugh, and do random things in order to touch each other.
We hit it off great, they get me, they really get me.
In an instant I felt as if I was in love.
It fit perfectly into an open spot in the big picture of my life.
We leave together.
We drive down the freeway laughing, and enjoying the energy.
The sexual tension is heating.
Definitely seems like it will be a great night.
And in an instant, things change.
A motorcyclist speeds by, and gets ahead of us.
Then, suddenly flips, and crashes.
We see their body flop and fly.
I stop and reach into my pocket for my cell phone.
Before I can get it, and call 911, my passenger jumps out of the car,
and runs to the cyclists aid.
As they’re giving CPR, I dial for help.
A car zooms by and slams into the two on the freeway.
Both are thrown into the air.
The cyclist is tossed to the side,
and the one with me spins up the hood, arches over the car,
tumbles, and slides into the lane next to me.
Their eyes are wide open, and mouth agape with blood pouring out.
My heart pounds and I’m in complete shock.
It’s like one of those nightmares where you try to scream, but can’t.
This isn’t real, it can’t be real.
The person in the car that hit them gets out screaming hysterically.
They can’t be any older than 19 years.
In an instant lives are lost and lives are changed.
It was the happiest moment I could have ever experienced,
then it became the most unstable mental and emotional trauma of my life.
It wasn’t a nightmare.
I’ll never wake from this.
I won’t end my life.
I’ll appreciate and cherish every bit of it,
because it can all get taken away
in an instant.

We Need A Hero

This world is going to hell. I don’t mean that in the religious sense, I mean to literal shit. Governments all over are doing crazy things to their people, but even more, the people are doing something about it, taking a stand. Now, whether we agree with their tactics is a matter of opinion. I believe that someone does need to do it, but I’m not one of those people. I know the things that are going on in the world, I’m not stupid. I do care about everything that is going on. I’m speaking of the riots, the occupies, protests, government power, the economy, I know most of the ins and outs. I’m glad mass amounts of people gather in one spot to show themselves, and speak their voice. That’s a great way to get the attention of the law and government. I want to attend all these things myself, but I can’t help but think of all sorts of reasons of why not to go:

1) All I’m going to do is hear people yell about things I already know, or yell myself about what everyone else is yelling about, which makes me wonder exactly what the point is of me being there. What does it help, or serve?

2) I see all those people as a front-line in an army. You send out a mass number of people to prove a point, and get thoughts and ideas out, and wait to see what the answers are going to be. Then, once the answers come, you send in a second wave, then a third, and maybe more. Each wave has a different tactic, or goal in mind. They work together to obtain one ultimate goal. That being said, what usually happens to the front-line in wars? I believe that is were most of your casualties occur. I mean, you don’t hear about the generals or whoever going out with the front-line. Those mother-fuckers are staying behind to watch the outcome, and come up with strategies to take down the others. Playing a game of ‘Risk’, but using real people. You lose people and you say, “Well, fuck. Now we’ve learned something Let’s move on.” I see all those gathering people as the spot were the pebble is dropped in the pond. I’d rather be in the back, see the ripple coming, rise above it, then clean up after the wake, and make a fresh start. That’s what I’m meant to do. I can’t be a casualty of war. I don’t see it as being a coward, a non-participant/supporter, or anything like that. I just don’t think that's my job, not my wave. I’m not trying to discourage anyone from gathering, protesting, or whatever because, like I said, someone has to do it.

3) Like the second, if the the government really is intentionally doing all this screwed up stuff, or if there are terrorists, then ,don’t you think that they will enjoy having all the people who oppose them together in one area? That’s an easy target. I know, I know, people are going there for peace, therefore they want to settle by peaceful means. That’s bullshit. The ones in power don’t care, they have guns. Big guns. They can find/have people they can easily control and manipulate into killing all the innocent people, then just as easily cover their own ass. It could be to where the front-line doesn’t just have casualties of war, the entire front-line will be gone, and the other waves will have to runaway and hide for a while in order to come up with strategic moves against the power. So, if you’re just killed off with a snap of a finger, then the only thing that you did, or stood for was making a huge impact on those who are left, which is a big part, but not where I fit in. Some may say, “No this would never happen. They would never do a thing like that. You watch too many movies.” Well, it may not happen, and I may be completely paranoid, but I know there are plenty of others who have the same thoughts and ideas about this, so, that makes me believe that my “theory” is possible. And if my “theory” is possible, then that is not a risk I’m willing to take.

I know the world is bad and it needs to make a change to be better. There are tons of ideas out there that seem like they can work, and make complete sense, but we aren’t trying it on large scales to really judge what exactly would be better. The reason we don’t do these things is because certain people would lose, or not receive money. Money has become the most powerful thing in the world, and it doesn’t even really exist. This evil is controlling everything, and bringing the world down in flames, and where I live at the moment, that statement is literal.

So, in my opinion there is only one thing that could help us get out of this slump, and that one thing is a hero. We need a Hero to come and save us, or help us rather. I’m not talking about a Savior. I’m not wanting or expecting Jesus Christ to come back and save us, or save some actually, not all. I’m not expecting God to set Earth on fire. None of what I’m talking about relates to religious views or thoughts. I just want to make that clear. I’m talking a Hero, or Heroes. Like Batman, Iron Man, Tyler Durden, Justice League, or The Avengers. Real people with skills and talents in certain areas. Rich and powerful people who are knowledgeable, and are located on the inside of the source of evil. People who use their riches and power to take down the other bad rich and powerful people from the inside out. A computer wiz who can hack into banking systems and change numbers around.

We need these people, we need this to happen. I feel that is the only way, and I know there are many like me. Why else would they be making so many comic book movies, and making a fortune off of them? I would love to be one of these people, but sadly, I’m neither rich nor powerful. I do believe that these people will come out and do something, but I also feel that we just need to continue the path we’re going.

Regardless of what we need to do for the future, there is one thing that will inevitably happen. Exactly what that one thing is, I’m not sure, but it’s going to be big and bad. Catastrophic. That is the only way most people will realize the truth, and be motivated to do something to resolve the situation. I mean, America became more patriotic after 9/11, which doesn’t make sense, but that’s a whole other rant.

All I’m saying is be aware and be prepared. If you’re rich and powerful, look into what is going on in the world and do something positive to help the world progress properly. If you’re not rich or powerful, then do everything you can you think of that will help improve our lives in a positively progressive way. Let your voice be heard, claim your freedom, and fight to reach your ideals. Too many people live their lives in fear, and it holds everyone back. Don’t be scared, and stop judging based off appearances. Avoid mainstream media, and disregard what society says is right. Don’t be a dependent religious person and look, wait, or pray for someone, who is not going to come, to save you. Know that many will be lost, not everyone can make it, so, don’t let your emotions cloud your mentality. Knowledge is true power. Now, let’s make and become Heroes!

"Facts of Life" Comment to Mykosis

 ***NOTE: This was originally supposed to be a comment to Mykosis's recent blog that he made after reading my Life Ramble blog. All are welcome to read and discuss.

I'm glad my blog was inspiration. I was hoping someone would read it begin to have thoughts, and willing to talk about such thoughts of these so called "facts of life". And I must warn you there is an extreme possibility of ranting, and going off on tangents, but hopefully it will make sense.

As far as the 10 commandments go, I've always felt like they were more like guidelines, or rules set aside to sway people a certain way. This is why I don't like religion because they want you to believe and follow their way. Everyone thinks that their religion is the right way, therefore, majority of the population, by most religions standards, will in fact be wrong and go to "hell".

Religion likes to make you believe that if you screw up, then God will punish you, someone is always watching you and judging your every move, BUT only if you have achieved salvation and redemption, and have taken "God" into your heart and life can you ask for forgiveness of your sins and have your slate wiped clean. In the Catholic religion you go to a priest to confess your sins, then he talks to God for you. The priest may then give you some form of judgement/consequence/punishment to help God forgive you. This thing may just be saying 12 Hail Marys, a judgement none-the-less. But I thought only God could judge you? Why can't I just talk to God myself, why do I have to go through you? And why do Catholics talk about Mary more than anyone?

Religion, to me, is basically an undercover government. The government back in the day edited The Bible, before making and distributing it to the world. There are different versions and translations of The Bible. "Well they all basically say the same thing." No, they don't. All of them can even be interpreted a different way. I remember reading books from it, then going to sermons dealing with those books, and the preachers interpretation was different than what I believed it to say. And if you try to ask and have a discussion about it, all they do is try to make you understand it the way they see it, which doesn't help answer your questions at all. "The Bible is the truth and the way." But there are books missing!!! Important ones, like Judas, and Mary Magdalene. Yeah, I would like to hear what they have to say and their version/side of the story. Why aren't they in The Bible? Maybe because it has information that may make you be swayed another way? Or that it will help everything make sense?

This is why we have different denominations. because everyone one has thoughts, questions, and ideas that no one can answer properly, so they make their own religion and say their right. Why do churches collect money wanting you to "tithe", or give to God, then, next thing you know the church is doing renovations, upgrading, taking staff on trips (non-missionary trips, have better clothes, equipment, etc...  Shouldn't churches just stay the same and the money they get they put towards a charity? Because They accept charity, they don't give it. They should give to the community somehow, homeless shelter, salvation army, hurricane victims, earthquake victims, etc... Churches should be the middle man between the people and the world. We shouldn't have FEMA, the churches should do it. That makes sense to me.I worked at a church at one point for catering. We were catering 2 nights in a row for 400 people both nights because they were seeing this special person speak. This church was HUGE, it had it's own coffee shop. Later, I found out that that church had a preacher not too long ago who was arrested because he was taking the church money to go on vacation. I'm not saying that all churches and religions are like this, but it's out there. It mainly boils down to individual churches, the preachers, and how they run things. Which brings me to individuals life, they should be the judge of their own lives and not have to worry about cruel punishments after doing acts that can be justifiable by certain circumstances. Do you ever hear of churches helping out in a time of crisis or disaster? Do you ever hear of them rallying for peace, civil rights, or some sort of any positive movement? I don't. I do here about churches, preachers, ect rallying to stop abortion, stop gay marriages, fight a "Holy War", being pedophiles, etc...

To me,if I was to follow a religion I would look back at the earliest forms, and see what they have to say because they weren't bogged done by all this bull crap change. They were closer to the beginning of time, so shouldn't they know more about how we got here, and what are purpose here is for? I would think. It's like that gossip game we played in school. The teacher whispers something in one persons ear, then they tel the next, and so on. You were never allowed to hear it again, you just had to listen then tell what you thought you heard, basically. 9 times out of 10 when the last person told the teacher the phrase, it was wrong. Sometimes COMPLETELY wrong. Why is that? Think about it, and see if you can relate that to religion.

I do believe that God is spiritual electric energy source that lives in all things everywhere. I DO NOT believe that God will send you to hell for ANYTHING. That's right, I said it. I don't believe in Heaven or Hell. I believe more so with the reincarnation idea. And reincarnation is not limited to Earth. You can also say that I don't believe in Satan/Lucifer. If there was a Satan, I believe he would be God as well, because like I said before, God is in everything everywhere. God is both positive and negative. Now, if the story was that God had two children, Jesus and Lucifer, who were two sides of the same coin, one bad and one good, and they lived on the world and went on to battle, and cause others to take sides and battle, then I may be more likely to believe that religion, but that's not the story at all.

Money is ridiculous and should be done away with, or at least not be the most important thing of everyone's life. It, stupid and doesn't even exist. The greatest power, I feel, is knowledge. And I don't claim religion, I claim spirituality, but as far as religions do go, I like Buddhism, Gnosticism, and Jews I don't have problems. I'll believe "Greek Mythology" before the others. There's just too many questions, and too easily debatable around any points of view. I do know that I live on Earth, and this world is what keeps me alive, so I should take care of it, be nice to it, and be grateful for it because I wouldn't be here without this place I call home. We all know that the Earth itself is alive and kicking. It's been around for billions of years. Don't you think that the world intakes knowledge, adapts, and goes through it's own cycles? If so, then wouldn't it be safe to say that if we hurt the world, then it can get back at us, and there would be nothing we can do to stop it. The Earth could kill us all of in an instant. Why don't we ask the Earth for forgiveness, and show our gratitude? We could all live better, healthier, and more advanced lives very easily. We have technology and resources to provide for ourselves, and everyone here while still taking care of the Earth. Why are we doing this? Why aren't we there already? Because we would all have to love, appreciate, take care of each other, and work well together for it to be achieved, and it doesn't seem like that is possible because we're always fighting and trying to figure out to get ours, never-minding others and their lives. That and we'd pretty much have to do away with money, but that is NOT and option, non-negotiable. This is what's wrong with the world we live in. Power, greed, control are the essentials to our lives.

I apologize for my rant as a comment on your blog, but it just came out. I have a lot more to say, but my brain is done at the moment. More than happy to continue a discussion :)

Short Ramble About Life

    

     I don't think I believe in having only one God. I mean, everything comes in twos, at least. There always has to be balance, and in order for balance to work, there needs to be two. One thing can’t be God, and do it all alone, it makes no sense. “God” would not be there without two things reacting to each other, and “God” can’t “create” things without having one thing react with another. Think about all the balances that are clear around us: Positive and Negative, Black and White, High and Low, Hot and Cold, Dark and Light, Sun and Moon, Male and Female,Cats and Dogs; need I say more? That’s just the way most things are in most cases.
  
     The main thing to think about is that the two things are meant to be there, supposed to be there, and work together to create something. Your hands together can create art, your feet together can create mobility to help create, your eyes to see more of the picture, your ears to hear both sides of the spectrum, two whole people to create another. It all makes sense, but the more I think and talk about it, it boils down to another number, my favorite number, three. When you have a scale, in order to weigh both sides, there needs to be a structure in the middle. When you think of the black and white things of life, don’t you think there’s always that “grey area”. When a man and woman have a child, that child is a living creation, and should be considered and looked at as an accomplishment, and therefore, the third part of the cycle, or circle, of life. The way I was brought up in life to think about God has changed a little.
  
     Yes I’m saying I believe in God. It’s not the God that many others are thinking of, but it’s a God. I believe it’s merely and energy source, the life essence, the electricity through the water that makes you alive. I guess you can look at it as a parasite, in a sense, God serves no purpose without a host. But that energy source has many hosts, like plants and animals, even the entire world around you. That’s why we are all connected. All one being. That’s why if we do something to each other, another is effected. The bigger to problem, the bigger the consequences. For instance, you kill someone, then someone else who is alive will feel the pain, and come back after you. You kill off certain animals when it’s not necessary, then some part of the ecosystem gets thrown off, and the dominos begin to fall until eventually everyone is effected. If one was to continue drawing the Earth’s life essence, fossil fuels a.k.a. oil, then the Earth won’t be able to hold herself together well anymore, and everyone everywhere is in for some major disaster to strike. Then where would all the money and power go? What did all that “hard work” really do for you? It would all be pointless. Your life would mean nothing.
  
     We are her alive to live, and take care of life. To take care of our lives, and lives around use to make everything better and easier. Evolution and advancement is great to a point, but the point has been reached, and continued in the wrong direction.  Up to know, this is what I can think of that care and money is going to: War, Terrorism, Military, Athletics, Gasoline/Oil, Political Campaigns, Religion/Church, Taxes, Fees... That’s the main things off the top of my head. Neither one of those should be the most important thing to think or talk about. Maybe I’m just on a different spectrum, but all those things require violence and low intelligence (to be easily controlled). Neither one of those things are good for anyone. Where do I think money and thoughts should go toward? Art, Education, Health, Science, Agriculture, Nature, Poverty in Third World Countries...
 
     I mean, I know a school closed down around here, which makes things hard for parents, teachers, and children. Then there’s a gas station built across the street from another gas station in the snap of a finger. What’s wrong with this picture? We fight terrorism  by using terrorism. How is that supposed to work? We have people upset and anxious about players quitting leagues because there million dollar salary isn’t enough, while teachers can’t find jobs, haha. It really is laughable that we have all done this to each other. I know, I’m ashamed of myself too, but I’m just old enough to realize what the frack is going on in this world.
  
     It starts with my generation, it has too, to start making that difference. That change that we so desperately need. There’s too many old fashioned fuddy duds in the political system that they’ve given up and don’t give a frack about anyone else. We need to start finding ways to do something, but I seriously don’t think a damn thing is going to get done until something really awfully disastrous happens.
  
     Something will happen, and when it does, then I just hope that the strong minded and strong willed have already thought and planned things out, and is ready to do something as soon as problems strike. I know I’ve been brushing up on some things. A few things people should do is watch things about the Zeitgeist Movement, and Jacque Fresco with his Venus Project idea. I think those are great thoughts about our future. There are many other things out there that have the right positive ideas for movement, those are just my main things I’ve been watching.

    Okay, my mind seems to be done at the moment, but that’s my short life rant for the day, I’m sure I’ll make additions at a later date, or by comments that I hope are made.

The Writer in Me

Give me a letter, and I will give you a word.
It could be any word.
An easy short word, or a long complicated, and hard to pronounce word.
It could be a well known word, or one I just made up.

Give me a word, and I’ll give you a phrase.
Could be a slang phrase, or a slogan.
It could rhyme, have beats, or just catchy.
Maybe it would make you think, or make you smile.

Give me a phrase, and I’ll give you a story.
A story with characters, a setting, and a plot.
It could be a short story, or a novel.
I could write it as a play, movie, poem, comic, or a song.

Whatever it is you decide to give me.
I will take, make, and create.
I can give you something for a lifetime, or a short time.
It could make you laugh, or you could cry.

As long as I make a thought.
As long as I make an impact.
As long as one person is entertained,
then I’ve done what I wanted.

Alana's Writing Prompt

This is a short scene I wrote in about 30 minutes- hour. It was based off a prompt from a friend of mine. Feel free to send me any sort of prompt and see what I can come up with. It mainly helps me to keep my writing going, and it's better for me if I know others are there.


Alana Anthony hmmm...would a prompt help get the creative juices going?

Aslan Troy Hollier Haha, perhaps...

Alana Anthony okay...try this:
Him: Why do you do that all the time?

Alana Anthony Her: It's just who I am
Continue from there

************************************************************************

Him
Why do you do that all the time?

Her
It’s just who I am.

    (He shuts the door, then follows after her through the yard.)

Him
How does yelling and fighting with everyone make you who you are?

Her
I’m yeller and a fighter. That’s who am am! It’s not a hard concept.

Him
But at people who are there for you and trying to help? You’re gonna do that to them?

Her
Well I guess so.

Him
What’s the point? Are you really that stubborn that you are just going to hold on to your pride and fight with others who are there to help? They want to help. They can help. Let them.

Her
No!

Him
Why not?

Her
Because I don’t need anyone. I can do it all my own, and I’m proving it.

Him
You’re proving nothing except that you’re a hard headed brat. That attitude won’t get you anywhere except where you don’t want to be.

Her
I don’t need you or anyone telling me what I’m doing right, where I’m going to be in life, or how I’m going to feel about it! Just let me go! Let me figure things out for myself, make my own mistakes, live my own freakin’ life!

Him
Just like that. That’s how you’re going to be to ME?

Her
You’re just like everyone else.


Him
You against the world, huh? Two sides, black and white, no grey areas. I thought I was that grey area, the connection between you and the world. The only one who could help you see and understand the world, the middle man, the teacher and helper. I’m your brother. Family and friend.

Her
That doesn’t mean anything.

Him
I don’t know what “phase” you’re in right now, but it better change soon because I refuse to see you continue the path you’re headed.

Her
Whatever.

Him
(Cringes)
    I’m going to leave you alone, but you better relax and meditate yourself to a balanced state. When you do, I hope you’ll come back inside, apologize to everyone for your outburst, and explain your real problems, whatever they may be. I’m sure Mom has already cleaned up the mess you made during your outburst. I mean, Aunt Faye was offering money to help you go to college. Once you go through college, graduate, and start the real world like I did, then you’ll realize how stupid you were to yell, throw meat loaf across the room, and then storm out of the house.

    (She turns her head away)

Him
Wow, the colder shoulder. Well, you have fun and I’m gonna see if Aunt Faye will give me the money instead, so I can pay for my student loans.

    (He walks off)

(She sits and thinks a second, groans, and goes after him)

Her
Wait!

    (He Stops and turns)

Her
I just feel like I need to prove myself, and be independent. I am stubborn to the max, and at times I’m like talking to a brick wall. I’m sorry, it is who I am to some extent, but I’m also on my period, and off my bi-polar medication, so, yeah, sorry.

    (He smiles, shakes his head, and puts his arm around her shoulder to guide her back in the house)

Him
See, I knew there was something. I’m sure you can even explain that to them, they’ll understand. Trust me. And I’ll see about getting you that medication tomorrow.

Waiting on an Angel

      
                 This is a colder and darker night than usual for Alex Webber. He sits on the bed with his bare feet on the cold, dirty wooden floor. The lights in the house are out. He stares glumly out the window behind him, watching the rain. The dim gloomy skylight washes through the window, which is the only light in the house.
            He listens to the rain hitting on the tin roof, going down the gutter, and flowing with the rest of the water on the ground. He can almost hear the water as it races down the window, connecting together, then separating, but the water moves so smoothly that he couldn’t possibly hear that much.
            A flash of purple lightning brings color into his dark world only for a moment. He enjoys the rain; the rain fits the way he is feels.
            He can’t help but think about how wonderful it would be to have a companion. Someone to be right next to him, to hold, lie with, and talk the rain away. It’s easy to get through dreary rainy days when you have someone to help. He can usually not think about being lonely by going out and doing things, but days like this makes it impossible. The warmth and comfort of a female body would make this day more uplifting. The female body is beautiful all in itself. The curves, the skin, eyes to the soul, the whole formation is appealing. It's pure, organic, natural art.
            “It’s getting to me.”
            He's carried away in his thoughts. The loneliness has taken hold of him. Trying to get his mind elsewhere, he turns on the radio. Maybe some noise will help. He leans over to the radio, switches it on, and lays back on the bed. The guitar softly and slowly plays, and the singer sings with deep sincerity.
            “Waiting on an angel. Wanting to carry me home. I hope you come and see me soon, cause I don’t wanna go alone…So be kind to a stranger, cause you’ll never know it just might be an angel come knocking at your door. I’m waiting on an angel to find myself a resting place in my angel’s arms…”
            The song is called Waiting on an Angel by Ben Harper. It begins to toy with Alex’s head. The words could mean that he is waiting for an angel to carry him to Heaven when he dies. It could mean that he is waiting on an angel to hold in his arms. He doesn’t want to die alone. So, he needs that companion, his own angel to love and hold.
            His head begins to race with thoughts of the past women in his life. He has loved many women, but has yet to claim love to one. He reminisces about being with the women, looking at them with loving eyes, speaking to them in a loving way, thinking and feeling love, but love has never been returned. He waits on his one to come, like stories of princesses waiting for their prince charming, he waits for his beauty queen, or his angel.
            He begins to sulk even more than before. He can’t contain his thoughts and feelings. He wants and needs love in his life. Thinking about it only makes things worse. He jumps up and turns off the radio. If he was to continue to listen to that, he would probably kill himself; he wouldn’t, but it would cross his mind for five seconds. The song was good, but he is trying to not think about that subject.
            The mind switches to another subject and he begins to think of how life can tend to be ironic. For instance, if you get a twenty dollar bill and hold it in front of you with Jackson facing you. Fold the bill lengthwise, like a hot dog, with the bottom coming up. Then, hold both index fingers and place them on the each side of the center, and fold the ends up for a point at the bottom. You should have a half square at the top, and a triangle at the bottom. Now, look at the bill, you can see what looks like the twin towers with smoke coming from the exact places that the towers were hit. Is that ironic?
            Ironic that it’s actually there? Ironic that someone sat somewhere and figured that out? The bill was that way before 9/11. Someone found something from the past that, somewhat, predicted the future. How does this happen? All of these bring up the question of life itself, not as an irony, but the actual act of life. Is life planned? Is there a pattern? Can you find the future to everything by folding money, or something of similarity?
            His mental attention continues to jump around various subjects. He never gets to finish a complete thought. As his mind wanders, thinks, and dreams, he gets tired and falls asleep. He can now sleep the rain away, and dream his troubles off.
          
            The next day, the sun shines brightly through the window. The brightest spot from the window shines right in his eyes. The room begins to become very heated. He lies in the bed under the covers and starts to feel like a pig in a blanket baking in the oven. He shoves the covers off of him, groans, and gets out of bed.
            Today is going to be a glorious day for him. He gets to relax and do whatever he wants, but he has to get out of the house and be around people. He still has lonely thoughts in the back of his head, but he needs to do something fun to change his mind.
            He does his daily routine, and then decides to take his dog for a walk through the park. He leashes the dog and they walk out the door. He stops once he is outside to feel the weather. The sun beats warmly on his face. He can feel his body absorbing bursts of energy. He smiles and takes a deep breath, locks his door, and heads down the stairs to the ground that will take him out to the world.
          
            They get to the park and Max, the dog, is extremely excited. He begins to pull on the leash because he wants to get there quicker. They walk down the hill at the park to the trail that goes for miles. It is a very pleasant day. The sun shines, the breeze blows, the birds chirp, nothing can make him feel gloomy today.
            They walk a few minutes and Alex begins to look around at the people. He notices a couple sitting on a bench holding each other. He watches another couple walk down the path in front of him smiling and holding hands. He observes a third couple playing on the ground with their dog. There seems to be couples all over the park.
            Alex continues to smile and walk his path. He gets a bit choked up about the situation, but he refuses to let it get to him. He looks straight at the path he is walking, and doesn’t look anywhere else. In doing so, he runs into someone on the path. They bump, and quickly try to gain their composer. He tries to apologize to her, but begins to stutter. He sees that she is a gorgeous woman who just so happens to be walking her dog alone.
            “Oh! Sorry, I uh… I wasn’t paying... I was going...I didn’t see you there. Not that I couldn’t see you there. I mean I like seeing you, you’re very attractive, not like your invisible. So, I didn’t want you to think…I don’t know why I just told you that.”
 He says trying to figure himself out and then finally snaps, and holds out his hand,
            “ Hi! I’m Alex Webber. Sorry for running into you.”
She smiles and giggles a little,
            “It’s ok, I wasn’t paying attention either. No harm done.”
She takes his hand and shakes it,
            “I’m Faye Tate.”
He smiles genuinely,
            “Nice to meet you.”
            While they were talking their dogs begin to play and get all four of them tangled. They clumsily start to get everything un-tangled and laugh along the way. The dogs continue to play right in the middle of the un-tangling, and it makes things worse.  It’s very amusing to watch these two try to fix the disaster. They get everything undone and hold their dogs close.
    “Maybe we should go before that happens again.”
She says suddenly while holding her dog.
            “Yeah, maybe so.”
He says dryly. He doesn’t want to leave her. He was enjoying himself, but she probably has better things to do.
            “Well, nice to meet you. Hope you have fun walking your dog.”
She says as she pulls the dog along.
            “Nice to meet you. Watch where you’re going from now on. You could really hurt someone with your looks…”
He says in a joking way and then snaps,
            “Leash! Hurt someone with your leash. That’s what I meant to say.”
He feels like complete crap. She smiles sweetly,
            “Thanks, you too.”
Then, she walks off with her dog.
            “You too?”
He says to himself.
            “Does that mean she thinks I’m attractive?”
He shakes his head and tries not to think about the situation, and continues down the path he was walking before he ran into her. Once reaching the top of the hill he sits at the bench that rests there, pets his dog, and watches the people all over the park. Everyone seems very happy and are enjoying themselves. He does this for a few minutes, and then starts to walk back home.

            After getting home, he relaxes. After about an hour, Alex starts to get hungry and finds that he has nothing to eat at home. He puts Max in his kennel, and leaves to go eat.
            He gets to the restaurant and is seated. While he is walking to his seat he looks around, and what do you think he sees? That it’s a great day for people to come to this restaurant for their date. Couples are at several tables spread about the building. They all talk, laugh, and smile at each other. He can tell that he is going to be eating quickly today.
            He sits at his table, and waits alone. After a few moments his waitress comes. His waitress just so happens to be the girl from the park.
            “Oh hey! How are you?”
He says surprisingly.
            “Well isn’t this a small world. How was the rest of your walk?”
She says with a smile.
            “It was nice; I didn’t stay too much longer. What about you?”
            “I was leaving to go home and get ready to come here. I haven’t had much else today. So, what would you like to drink?”
            The conversation was over and now it’s time for her to focus on her job. He felt like he was in a very awkward position. He wants to talk to her, but this isn’t the right place or time. He wants a second chance to not seem like a fool, but this wasn’t the best way to go about it.
            “I’ll just have a glass of tea.”
He says like any other customer would.
            “Okay, it will be right out.”
            After sitting there for a while he gets anxious, and upset about seeing couples together. He feels uncomfortable so he gets up to go to the bathroom, but as he is scooching out of the booth, he runs into the waitress. She lets out a high pitch shriek as she stumbles and dumps the tray all over herself. On the bright side, all that was spilled were drinks.
            “Hey I’m so sorry, I didn’t see you coming…I…Uh…Are you okay? Of course you’re okay, I mean it’s just liquid, ice, and stuff, but…I’m sorry.”
He just keeps repeating himself and stuttering the whole time. He feels awful about the whole thing.
 “It’s okay, you just scared me.”
She says calmly,
             “Like you said, just liquid, ice, and stuff, right?”
“Yeah…”
He says with a goofy grin on his face. He can’t get over how cute she is, and can’t stop smiling.
            He continues to finish helping her clean up. Everything was alright, but he still felt terrible. He tried talking to her, and maybe asking her out, but that’s probably awkward to do in that situation. So, he stayed shy and reserved away from her. He had to spill everything on her, just his luck.
            He finishes eating, meanwhile, feeling like the biggest person in the room, or the ugliest, due to everyone looking at him. He eats faster, throws the money on the table ,and runs out the door.
            “Damn it!”
            He says panting his lungs out after running two blocks over. Then, he begins to wonder why the hell he ran all that way. He actually ran out of the restaurant, and down two blocks, just to get out of that situation as fast as possible. Pathetic.
            It’s beginning to get dark outside. He can see the baby blue horizon, just before the rainbow colors fill the sky. He decides to go home and call it a day.
            He gets home and settles. After a few hours, rain comes out of nowhere. There is a knock at the door. He gets up and goes to the door, opens it, and there stands the waitress from earlier. She is soaked and standing on his porch with the rain pouring behind her.
“Hi, I’m sorry, but my car broke down in front of your house. Can I use your phone?’
            “Oh, yes of course come in, get dry.”
“Thank you.”
“You’re the waitress from earlier aren’t you?”
He blurts out.
“You’re the guy who spilled all the drinks on me today.’
Saying with a convicting tone.
            “I had to pay for all of that!”
“I’m very sorry. I haven’t had a good day, and it just happened. It was an accident.”
            She explains she had a bad day as well. She changes into some of his dry clothes, and they sit and talk for a while. They really hit it off.
            Later, she calls a friend to come bring her home. The friend comes and waits outside in the car. He lends her his umbrella until they meet again.
            “Thanks for helping. I’ll come back tomorrow to look at the car.”
            “Not a problem. I’m willing to help after running into you so many times today.”
            “Yeah, I guess there was a reason.”
He laughs,
            “Yeah.”
            “Well, it was great talking to you. Hopefully I’ll see you tomorrow?”        
            “Sure, I should be here.”
            “Okay, well thanks again. Bye”
            “Bye.”
She walks out into the rain, gets in the car, and leaves. He watches her while smiling. He finally talked to someone, and didn't feel alone. There is something special about her, but isn't sure what. Either way, he's happier than he's felt in years, and very much looking forward to tomorrow.

            The next morning Alex is extremely energized and very upbeat. He wakes up early with plenty of sleep, eats some oatmeal, and has a smoothie and coffee. He takes Max out for a walk around the neighborhood, and greets many people along the way. He takes second glances all around him because everything seems different. The town has a different light with a better perspective.
            “So, this is how couples feel all the time. It's nice."
          
            Later, when he arrives home he sees Faye in his driveway with someone at the car with her. He walks over to them,
             “Hey, what's going on?"
            “Hey, just looking over the car to find out what's wrong. This is my uncle, he's a mechanic."
            “Nice to meet you."
Her uncle says with a scratchy redneck voice.
            “Hi. So, what's wrong?"
Her uncle spits out some dip, and responds,
            “Well, looks like a whole mess of trouble. You got a dead battery, out of gas, and a radiator leak. I can get your gas and battery, and get it running at least, but we gotta look into fixing that radiator before you get bigger problems."
            “Well, let's get as much done as we can. I don't want to have to worry about this, and I gotta work later."
She turns to Alex,
             “Do you mind if the car stays here for a while longer? We should be back at 5 o' clock to get it out of the way."
            “Sure, no problem at all. I got and appointment at 4, and should be back here by then to help if you need it."
            “Okay, well, thank you. We're gonna get going and get it done."
            “Alright, well I'll see ya in a bit."
Faye and her uncle get into his heavy duty truck and drive off.
            As Alex is leaving his house for his appointment, he notices his neighbor throwing away dead flowers in the can at the street. As he passes by,
            “Awww, I bet they were very pretty. What was the occasion?"
She responds,
            “Our anniversary. I don't know why he gets flowers. It's not practical; they're just going to die soon anyway. Everything always dies."
Alex's eyes get a little watery,
            “Well, you know it's all about enjoying the beauty as much as you can while it's there."
            “Well aren't your glasses rosy."
            “It's not about seeing the world in rose colored glasses. It's about stopping just to smell them."
            “Yeah, whatever."
She blows him off and walks sluggishly to the house. Alex shrugs, smiles, and continues to walk.

Alex is in the doctor's office, who has just examined him,
            “I'm sorry son. There's just no way to stop it, or even slow it down."
            “But I feel great today."
            “Something good happen recently?"
            “Yeah."
            “Meet a girl?"
            “Yeah..."
            “Mind over matter son, that's all."
            “Well, can't I just think I feel great all the time, and that will get rid of this thing?"
            “Sorry, doesn't quite work like that, my boy."
            “So, how long?"
            “Few months. No more than a year."
            “Damn."
            “I know. That's life though. Dying happens to the best of us."
            “It's all about how you enjoy it."
            “That's right. Make the best of it and enjoy yourself."
The Doctor pats him on the shoulder, and then decides to give him a hug,
            “I'd need a drink if I were you."
            “Yeah, thanks."
The doctor leaves, and Alex sits there silently drooping his head. He starts to cry a bit, and then hugs himself.

            Alex is walking home and hears birds chirping, feels the cool breeze, and reminisces about all the good, fun times in his childhood and growing up: dressing up for Halloween as a ninja turtle, making cookies and popcorn balls with his mom, high school graduation, parties at college with people dressed up, having great times dancing the night away, traveling to the mountains covered with flowers, and traveling to great cities across the ocean; like Venice, Dublin, and Paris. These were amazingly happy times that he will never forget. He still wishes he had someone to share all those moments with, but maybe he can finish his life sharing some great new times.
            As he thinks about Faye a smile comes to him. All the smiles are the same, and therefore, she has to be the one to share some happy times with him. It's a sign that they are meant to be with one another.
            He gets close to his house and he sees her leaning on her car with her arms crossed. He shouts, waves, and starts to run to her. She stands up, looks at him wide eyed, and with a saddened look. As he reaches the road he notices the look on her face, and gets a bit concerned. As he reaches the middle of the road there is tire squeal. Alex turns his head to see a car coming around the corner quickly, and it loses control. Alex is in a state of shock and has no time to get out of the way. Faye screams his name as he gets hit by the car. He rolls over the hood, hits the windshield, and stumbles over the side of the roof. The car hits a pole and the driver flies out of the windshield.
            Faye runs over to Alex, gets down, holds him, and cries. Alex is still coherent, but is not in pain.
            “I'm sorry." She says.
            “You didn't do this. I was going to die anyway. Everything has too, right?"
            “I'm sorry it happened to you like this. You're a great person, and you don't deserve this. That's why I'm here."
He gives a confused concerned look, then she says,
            “I'm an angel of mercy sent to help you leave painlessly, and grant your wish. You’re not going to die alone."
Alex smiles and begins to breathe heavy and fast,
            “Thank you."
            “I love you."
She says smiling and staring into his wide eyes.
            A stranger was his angel, come to carry him home. He waits no longer for his angel because he found his resting place in his angel’s arms. That’s all he wanted.
            Her smile gets brighter, and then she starts to gleam. Her skin, face, her whole body is glowing with a gold and white shine. A light comes from the Heavens through spiraling colorful clouds, and it serves as a spotlight over them. Beautiful big angel wings slowly come from her back and spread out wide and the two of them begin to rise above the world together.