Online Dating

This is ridiculous. I can’t stand online dating, but I still do it. I’m glad it tends to work for some people, but not really for this guy. I’m not sure if that just says something about myself, or what, but in my opinion I’m quite a catch, and I feel I deserve responses. I look for girls and message them if I feel we have enough in common to talk and/or hang out. I’m mainly looking for friends to go out and do things with. Most of my friends are in relationships and don’t really do much because they are huge homebodys’. When they do go out with me, it’s never really where I want to go, and I’m tired of being a third wheel. I’ve been that way too much, too long (that story is going to come in another post). The friends who aren’t in a relationships, which is very, very few, don’t do much either.

I like to sit at home and watch movies, surf the net for random and/or useful information, or play games and such. I also like to go out dancing, playing games somewhere else (bowling, putt-putt, billiards, etc...), experience new places, or go on random adventures. I will stay out late and wake up early for work if I have to. My work is crazy, so, I have a crazy sleep schedule, and I’m a night owl to boot. I like to have fun, have interesting conversations, or even simply enjoy someone’s company, which means just having someone there.

Now, I’m down to where I really don’t have anyone, not even “just a friend” to call up and say, “hey, you wanna go out and do this?” Is it worse to say that I find shit to do at home rather than go out just because no one will go with me? Or is it worse to go do things, and simply wander around alone? The bad thing about wandering around alone or doing things alone, is it’s kinda boring. Not to say I’m a boring person, but I like to do things for others, do things with others, and do things just to entertain or see others reactions. When I do this on my own, I’m considered crazy or stupid. I’m easily adaptable, laid back, nice, respectable guy, and I don’t understand why I have so few friends now, and why I don’t get responses for online dating.




Any time I try to meet women the proper way, which is getting out and actually meeting them, I run into ones that are taken. I’ve pursed a taken girl before, and it didn’t go well. So, I avoid women in relationships almost all together, unless there’s a certain reason. I also don’t have much time to be able to go out and meet girls, and where are the best places to go and meet women anyway? I don’t really want to meet a girl at a bar, unless all I want is for us to be physically attracted to each other, and have fun a few times that night, then never speak or see each other again. That’s not what I want...well, honestly a part of me wouldn’t mind, but that still would lead me to the point that I wouldn’t have anyone to go out and do things with.

I just don’t know how to present myself properly to women over writing and posting pictures. Because I guarantee if they could meet me in person they’d have a really hard time not liking me, or not having fun with me, at least. I’d also like to say that my public self is different than my private self, if you know what I mean.

I guess, overall, online dating sucks for me because girls don’t respond to my sweet and unique messages ( I don’t open up with, or say only “hey beautiful”, “damn girl you fine”, or “wanna get down and dirty? I got pics for ya.”). Very few girls even view my profile, and all of them, I repeat, ALL OF THEM never respond after viewing my profile. The only few that have responded to me, only responded because I messaged first. I think the guy should message first, but if girls are going to be overly picky and judgmental, then they have to grow some balls and message us first. The old fashioned ways are dead, or dying dramatically fast.

Since I’m a little old fashioned, I don’t like how some sites want you to pay for online dating. Why pay to try and meet someone? So, now guys have to pay to meet girls, if the girls want to meet at all, and pay for the date? Then, if something gets started they pay for a lot of other things in the relationship? This just makes no sense to me.

I have also come across dating sites where I get tons of messages, but all of them are girls wanting to get my credit card number, and watch them on their webcam. That doesn’t make sense to me either because you can find porn sites that you can watch girls on cam for free. So, if I have the option between giving credit info, and watching/”talking” to a girl through webcam, or free porn. I choose free porn.





Either I’m right in thinking online dating is just stupid, or I need someone to give me some pointers, and how to make it work in my favor. I also think that the woman I might actually want to meet and/or be with, wouldn’t be searching for people online. I’ve actually met two girls from online dating, and they didn’t work out well because, like I said, people are different in person than in an online profile, and writing messages. One may have worked out, but I was f an asshole because I had to blow her off since me and another person had started a relationship. Obviouslykind o, that relationship is over, otherwise I would not be in this position...again. I’m planning on writing a relationships post in the very near future, so, if you’re interested in reading/knowing, be on the lookout. That’s my opinion about online dating.

Positively Thinking Positive

“Look on the bright side!” “Things could be worse.” “Be a little more optimistic, and maybe things will turn out better.” I’ve heard all these things before, and much more. What does it mean to be positive all the time? How do some consider others “negative thinkers”? Is there a way to consider yourself realistic, taking and saying things the way they are, or even just having a cynical view of the world, and not be considered negative or pessimistic? Like I always say, I feel it lies in the necessary balance.

Being negative is focusing and concentrating on the bad events of your life, or just your day. Like if some stupid driver pisses you off, and you gripe about it all day, then your thinking negatively. It’s also considered negative if you beat yourself up all the time; living in your in-securities. You focus on thinking about what others could be thinking, wondering what they are saying about you. You need absolute reassurance that they enjoyed something you said or did. Otherwise, if they don’t say anything, then you automatically assume the worst.  Anything that is intrusive, aggressive, upsetting, depressing, or inappropriate is negative. This can lead to being a manic depressant, having OCD, or an anxiety disorder.

In my world, if something upsets me, then I express it. I can’t stop feeling, and it needs to come out instead of keeping it inside. I don’t see myself as focusing on it, or having it ruin my day. I just have strong feelings and opinions. I can say that I do think and look way too much into a lot of things, and I’m very insecure, but the way I see it is that I depend on others to like and enjoy what I’m doing because I don’t just do things for myself. I do things that help me stay grounded and sane, but I do it ultimately in hopes to help, teach, or inspire someone. In order for me to be happy, I have to make others happy.  I say certain things about people, and the way things are going in the world, and I speak about how much it upsets me, but I’m not trying to be negative. I’m just saying the facts of what is going on, and expressing my feelings. I’m empathetic to those who are treated wrong, and unequally. I’m a huge idealist with firm opinions. I believe things can be the way we all want. We just have to convince the majority of the population that it can work, and we can all do it together, but there are too many skeptics. These are the ones I feel as negative. The ones who just avoid the things around them because they “don’t want to worry about it”. If it’s not happening to them in their life, then they don’t care. I’m not saying that I’m doing everything right because I’m not. There’s so much more that I can/should  be doing to help, but I too am stuck in this zombified world. I can say I’m speaking out and doing more than some. I’m noticing and realizing certain things, and I’m beginning to prepare. I’m looking for my “call to action”, or my “open door”. So, to me, saying that we live in a messed up world full of ridiculous people upsets me, and we should ban together to do something about it; is basically saying what is real, not being negative.

Being positive is looking on the bright side of life. Forgetting the bad things, and remembering the good. Instead of saying, “That damn driver! Could’ve killed someone!” You say, “Well, at least I didn’t die, and I made it to my destination safely.” Always concentrate on your strengths, and don’t fret over your weaknesses. Positive thinking is like a muscle that you just work, learn to use it, and it gets stronger. Whatever it takes in order to make you feel better and happy about your future is being optimistic or positive. If you concentrate on all these things, and feel it inside you; know that’s what you want and what you can get, then, you will attract all that you want. You will feel brighter, and others will say, “There’s something different about you.” You will realize and notice that you enjoy your life much more than before. All you have to do, is stay positive.

I believe this 300%, but it’s easier said than done. That’s why I think it should be about the balance. I mean, let’s face it, shit’s going to happen, and you’re going to feel negative about it at some point. So, why runaway from it,  or block it? Embrace it, appreciate it, and learn from it. If you had to put yourself on a strict diet with no sugar, then how often would you think, “Damn, a doughnut sounds real freakin’ good right now”? I’d think about it every second. But if I just gave myself restrictions, I’d be better off.

When I put myself on a diet with no sugar, I really mean I can put sugar in my coffee and tea, and have one doughnut twice a week, but that’s all. I’d have myself a comfort zone and feel more inclined to probably put less sugar in my drinks because I’ll know that I’ll get what I really want, eventually, and soon. I’d have a goal for the week. Work my butt off for that delicious doughnut.. Mmmmm...




Sorry, went off on a tangent. Really thinking about doughnuts. Back to where I was, which was balancing positive and negative thinking. That says it right there. You have to balance it, otherwise it won’t work. How many things work with just the negative end of a battery? Or just the positive end? Right now, I can’t think of anything. I always see the + AND - symbols. That tells me you need both. Maybe I’m just blind.

I think it goes back to when I was a kid. All of us as kids said some nasty things to others. I would tell my sister, “You’re stupid.” Then, Mom would say, “Tell your sister you’re sorry” or, “Take it back!” For one, sorry can only go so far. Sometimes, sorry just doesn’t cut it. Secondly, you can’t take something back, it’s already been said. It’s out there. She already thinks I think she’s stupid. Sometimes some people remember moments like that all their life. It’s weird, but they do. I do. That’s why I think it should balance, or positive out weigh the negative. So, my mom could have said, “Okay, that means you better say you’re sorry, and say two nice things about her.” Cancel the negative out, and end on a positive. That sounds reasonable to me.

Next time your pissed off at a crazy driver, remember how upset you got, and what you said, then try and make sure that you feel equally as you did in that situation with a positive situation, and use equally positive words to express yourself about it. It may be a long shot, but it could work in your favor. At the end of the night before you go to bed you can say, “That damn driver pissed me off, but I got to eat the heck out of that lovely doughnut.”

I think if someone tells you they think you’re a negative person, then they have a personal problem with negativity. Meaning, they obviously don’t know how to overlook your negativity, and just continue being positive themselves. They certainly aren’t offering to help. So, when someone tells you, “You’re a sweet person, but you’re so negative", then they block you from contact,  you tell them, “Well, now that’s not very positive.”

If I do feel like I’m in a negative slump, then I have certain things that I like to do.
1) Read positive motivating quotes
2) Watch things I know will make me laugh
3) Read an uplifting book
4) Set a small short goal and achieve it
5) Write
6) Make art
7) Ask others for help and kind words
8) Exercise
9)Cuddle with my dog, Max
10) Drink and/or take drugs to pass out

All these things and more make bad days easier and faster to get through. Whatever it takes to make you feel better and get happy, then that’s the right positive thing to do. Always make sure your balanced.

I bought three books the other day to help be more positive: ‘The Daily Book of Positive Quotations’ by Linda Picone, ‘The Secret’ by Rhonda Byrne, and ‘The Happiness Project’ by Gretchen Rubin. I read the dated page everyday for the daily quotations. The quotes are great, thoughtful, and inspiring. I’ve started reading ‘The Secret’. I really like it and I have already seen the documentary movie over it, which is why I bought the book. I know I will like it because this movie told me things I already knew, but it put it in a manner where I could understand and relate. It hit me in the head, “Duh!” It also brought some light into things I didn’t know, which is better.I recommend the book and movie to everyone, especially those with depression, negative, or financial troubles. I haven’t started the other book, but it seems really cool and interesting.

What I’m trying to say is that you should never always be negative, or positive. They are both going to happen because they have to, and there’s no changing. Just lean more on the positive side. Don’t get so focused on avoiding real things that are there just because you “don’t want to worry about it”. As depressing as the world may be, you have to know what’s going on. Watch, learn, and understand the negative side to use it to your advantage. “Keep your friends close, but keep your enemies closer” can fit in this situation. Not only am I trying to convince you of all this, but I’m also convincing myself. I hope this helps people who need it like I did. Even if it just made you giggle, it’s an achievement.

“How far you go in life depends on your being tender with the young, compassionate with the aged, sympathetic with the striving, and tolerant of the weak and strong. Because someday in your life you will have been all of these.” ~ George Washington Carver, the quote for December 8 in ‘The Daily Book of Positive Quotes’







“One piece of wisdom that didn’t resonate with me initally was the importance with keeping happy memories vivid. But as I mulled over this principle, I realized the tremendous value of mementos that help prompt positive memories. Studies show that recalling happy times helps boost happiness in the present.When people reminisce, they focus on positive memories, with the result that recalling the past amplifies the positive and minimizes the negative.” ~ Gretchen Rubin in her book ‘The Happiness Project’

“Another thing people wonder about is, “How long will it take to manifest the car, the relationship, the money?” I don’t have any rule book that says it’s going to take thirty minutes or three days or thirty days. it’s more a matter of you being in alignment with the Universe itself.” ~ Dr. Joe Vitale from the book ‘The Secret’

Black Friday 2011

What I'm going to do is post a conversation I had with someone. They are unnamed out of respect. Some may know what I'm talking about, but many won't. It shows my thoughts and feelings on Black Friday, and shows a view of someone on the other side. I will let you all read and come up with things on your own, so you can decide what really concerns you. Note, this is not a personal attack to anyone, but merely my opinions, and the opinion of another, but I think the topic and issues at hand are very important right now. I will have some closing remarks, and videos at the end. Please, feel free to have open discussions in the comments section.

 Conversation:

Initial statement from ME:

So, at about 4ish today, I drove by Best Buy to see many many people waiting outside for them to open at midnight. You realize how ridiculous you people are, right?

2nd statement from ME (regarding someone saying that they are waiting until 4-6am to shop).

‎1) still feel like it will be crowded 2) You may not get the shoes you want and 3) the other 2 make it all not worth shopping at all. It's just stuff, and manufacturers plan for this crap, so, when you buy cheaper, you get cheaper products. Jus sayin'...

1st Statement from THEM:

 I actually take offense. When it comes to video games and other such electronic equipment, you are getting the same product you would at half the price. You can think that's ridiculous, I think it's a good deal.
Also, how ridiculous were we when you drove out simply to look at us? Haters gonna hate I guess.




ME:
I was driving to Pluckers, and Best Buy was on the way, and some of those ridiculous people were also disrespectful and stupid because they were in the way of others actually trying to get places. Stopping in the middle of the road to unload groups to sit and wait. I still stand firm on the fact that even video games and electronic equipment are just things. Why go through all that trouble to get something, that pretty much had no life value, only because it's cheaper. There are other things some people can spend their time and money on other than waiting to compete with others in order to buy things cheap. I like electronics and games as much as the next person, but I don't schedule my life to get these things cheaper before everyone else. It all instigates the overall problem with our world/society.

THEM:
Listen, you can sit there and spout "It's just things, man" but if you like video games as much as you say, you appreciate the value of a good deal. And I honestly believe the bigger problem in society is people, such as you, who think they are superior to everyone else. Elitism does exist, as you prove by living and breathing. I'm sorry I got in your way because I enjoy getting the people I care about gifts for the Holidays. Sorry I don't have enough money to blow, but I think you should be a little respectful toward those of us that aren't made of money. Also, Pluckers? "That's just wings, man." And in the end you were doing the same thing I was, spending money in public.

ME:
I never said I was superior to everyone else. I was only wondering why people do these things, which only involves the people camping hours at a time to buy things. I feel the same way about people camping to see movies. Wait a little bit, and when things die down, then go, and get a better experience. I do appreciate the value of a good deal, but I'm not going to wait and fight for it when I didn't need it. I didn't go to Plucker's to spend money in public. I went to watch the football game because I don't have cable, and I didn't have to wait 8 hours to do all of that, so, how does it compare to the situation? I never said that I have plenty of money to blow. I'm not made of money, I work hard, and conserve my money for things that work better for me. If video games make things better for you, then great, play them, buy them. That still doesn't make me understand the major point of camping out for hours to get "value out of a good deal". People don't camp outside waiting to vote. If people did, then maybe voting would matter more, and make more of a difference to a larger majority. Notice, I'm speaking about a large majority of public, not taking personal attacks. You sir, made this whole ordeal personal, which is not cool. I sympathize with you, and apologize you took offense to a general statement of wonderment. I hope things start working out better for you.

THEM:
    Let me start off with saying I have no ill feelings toward you, nor do I think of you in a negative light. I know you didn't like me when we first met, I believe it had to do with [deleted for personal reason] not that it matters, but since that point I believe we have always been cordial and friendly, and I don't intend for that to change.

    Calling you an elitist was a bit personal, but let's be honest, this had already taken a personal turn. I'm not sure if you intended to say this, as I've always known you to be a mostly kind person, but calling me stupid, disrespectful and a part of the major problem with society and/or the world made this personal, and frankly, it ticked me off and hurt my feelings.

    I decided to send you this message instead of posting [in public] with an argument, which I also honestly don't even feel like arguing in general.

    I guess we are just going to have to kindly agree to disagree, as you don't seem to understand the point I'm trying to make, which is saving money on gifts for Holidays is not ridiculous, and honestly very understandable behavior.

    P.S. Thanks for the concern, but I'm actually doing good. Hope you are well.

ME:
Okay, see that's what I was saying. If you read the comment. I didn't call YOU stupid, disrespectful, or part of the problem. I said,

“I was driving to Pluckers, and Best Buy was on the way, and some of those ridiculous people were also disrespectful and stupid because they were in the way of others actually trying to get places. Stopping in the middle of the road to unload groups to sit and wait.”

How does this even remotely relate to you? Were you one of those people in [deleted] Best Buy near [deleted]? I don’t believe you were.

It’s the whole idea of making shopping a huge deal and festival that is the problem. How do you think people feel who can’t afford even the sales? I mean, all this consumerism just beats them down and makes them feel worse, and kids think that their parents don’t care or love them because some other freakin’ kid has cooler toys.

How is buying things the most important and best thing to give someone over the holidays. You enjoy the simple pleasures. Be there, do things, help out, show your care and love. All that costs is time and effort, which is free as far as money is concerned. 

Not only did you call me an elitist, but count how many times you said “you” in all of your comments. Now, count how many times I said "you" in all my comments. The term “you” is a direct personal statement.

There was absolutely no reason for you to take anything personally, except maybe because I said it’s ridiculous for people to wait 8 hours to get in a store to compete with others and fight for something on a good sale. People are dying and getting pepper sprayed because of shopping. How does that not sound ridiculous? I believe I do understand what you’re saying. I don’t believe you understand my point.

I am a kind person, and I’m trying to get people to realize that there are better things to do for your loved ones rather than buying gifts at cheap prices. Make them something. Buy from the heart, and don’t be concerned with what is in your pocket. And once again, my ultimate statement concerned waiting and camping for 8 hours or more to get in a store and buy things. That has nothing to do with buying cheap holiday gifts. The focus is put on the waiting portion.

We do have to kindly agree to disagree. You need to not take things so personal, then start blasting someone on public sites about things you have no idea about. I don’t appreciate it.

And why bring up the past? No, I didn’t like you because [deleted personal] Pure jealousy I admit, but that has no regards to the present moment.



END CONVERSATION


So, who is out of line here? What are your thoughts, opinions, and feelings? I personally don't like the holidays because of all of this nonsense. I admit, I bought things, but it was a few books and movies. I bought my little sister something, and my mother something. It's not much, but it came from the heart, and I know they will love it. I didn't have to wait any amount of time, or fight anyone, and it was still cheap. I'm trying to write a holiday story and read to the family as a gift. Is that bad? Does that make me a bad person?

All these "things" people buy just get thrown out and wasted in the end. No one is crowded outside their city hall making sure all this waste isn't waste, and I feel that is a more important issue, not shopping.
There are people "occupying Wall Street" for money reasons causing riots and such, and yet, there is still Black Friday. Some places apparently have music, food, and stuff for the people who are waiting. It's a Shop Fest. Just pushing people to buy more stuff. If the government gets control like they want to, then people will start thinking, "Oh, maybe I should have spent money buying food, water, weapons, or brushing up on my survival skills, instead of waiting and fighting for that 52" LCD screen that I'll never get to watch cool shit on anymore."This whole thing just goes to show you more of what really happens during the holidays.

I mean...I don't know. I'm purely baffled, and feel justified that I've made my point. I'm ready to have discussions if anyone feels the need.

Very Harold and Kumar 3-D Christmas Review

     Okay, I've been thinking it's kind of weird that I've never written a movie review on my blog, or at all really. I love movies, and feel I'm very knowledgeable about them. I would really like to start making my own. For now, I watch, study, enjoy, and continue to be simply be addicted to them. Oddly enough, my first review will be on Harold and Kumar 3, yes, that's right.

Not to say that this movie was so spectacular that I just had to write about it, I want to write a review, and this is the most recent movie I've seen in theaters. I thought this movie was ridiculously funny. It's the same dumb humor as the other two. They find themselves running around getting into shit, after they haven't seen each other in years. Harold is married to the ever so beautiful Maria, played by Paula Garces. Kumar lives in his apartment, is a huge stoner, and is still dealing with the break-up with Vanessa, who is also gorgeous. Kumar recieves a package addressed to Harold, and Kumar decides to to bring Harold the package, even though it's been so long. That's where everything unfolds.

Possible spoilers from here on out.

Kumar's friend, Adrian takes Kumar to Harold's house and is with him throughout majority of the movie. Harold's friend, Todd (Officer Dangel from Reno 911), has his little girl with him. A lot of the comedy comes from Todd, and his little girl being involved in many situations with Harold and Kumar.

Harold has just met Maria's whole family who came to stay for the holidays. Maria's Dad is played by Danny Trejo ('Machete'), who I think is awesome. Harold gets a huge holiday lashing from the father about his choice of Christmas Tree, and has brought his own that he took 8 years to grow. Maria and the family leave for mass, and Harold is in charge of making the tree look perfect. Here's when Kumar arrives.

Harold hears Kumar slip on the sidewalk, and comes out. He invites him in to catch up. Harold opens the pakage to find a huge joint. Kumar lights it and Harold throws it out the window, but, of course, it magically glides out the window, into another window, and onto the Christmas Tree. The tree catches fire, and they push it out the window. Harold blames Kumar for it all, and asks him to leave.

Here's where they get the motivation for the movie. Kumar tries to do something special and find a tree for Harold, and Harold is doing the same. They run back into each other, and work together to find another tree while running into trouble and some great characters.

They go to a party full of young teens playing beer pong, having sex, and doing all kinds of drugs. The kids throwing the party at their house are children of a mob boss, Elias Koteas (Stuart in 'Look Whose Talking'). The mob boss's daughter tries to get her virginity taken from Adrian and Harold. That's when daddy walks in. Todd, Adrian, and Todd's little girl are trapped in the closet. The little girl is hyped up on cocaine, and high after being smoked out with marijuana by Kumar, and the boss sits outside the door, not knowing they're in the closet. Harold and Kumar got drugged at the party, and are running around in clay-mation land through the city.

They also run into Neil Patrick Harris, duh, while he is singing and dancing for a holiday show. You may have seen Neil die in the second, but if you watch after the credits you see a surprise. Of course, NPH gives his story on how he's alive, and it has nothing to do with the surprise, but it's really absurd and funny.

Then, Harold and Kumar are stranded somewhere in the city. Harold finds a shotgun and shoots it in the air, hoping someone will hear it and help them, but he ends up shooting Santa in the face as he is passing by delivering gifts. Kumar's medical experience pays off big, and Santa gives them a ride home.

There's a happy ending, and a slight moral value at the end. Overall, I liked the movie. It compares more to the first movie, rather than the second. There's a lot of stupid jokes, but jokes compared to the original, and not the constant racial sterotype jokes as the sequel; although there are race jokes in this one. This movie is also really fun and cool to watch in 3-D. They do alot of comedic neat things throughout specifically for 3-D entertainment. In one of NPH's last lines in the film he references a fourth movie...I'd watch it.

I give it 8 out of 10, two thumbs up with a goofy smile, and a deep belly laugh.