In An Instant

I sit with my head down, and arms crossed.
A very closed off position.
I don’t want to talk to anyone. I have nothing but negative things to say.
My self esteem and confidence is shot.
I go to sit alone at a bar, and drink my sorrows away.
Once I start feeling good and saucy, I meet someone.
We talk, laugh, and do random things in order to touch each other.
We hit it off great, they get me, they really get me.
In an instant I felt as if I was in love.
It fit perfectly into an open spot in the big picture of my life.
We leave together.
We drive down the freeway laughing, and enjoying the energy.
The sexual tension is heating.
Definitely seems like it will be a great night.
And in an instant, things change.
A motorcyclist speeds by, and gets ahead of us.
Then, suddenly flips, and crashes.
We see their body flop and fly.
I stop and reach into my pocket for my cell phone.
Before I can get it, and call 911, my passenger jumps out of the car,
and runs to the cyclists aid.
As they’re giving CPR, I dial for help.
A car zooms by and slams into the two on the freeway.
Both are thrown into the air.
The cyclist is tossed to the side,
and the one with me spins up the hood, arches over the car,
tumbles, and slides into the lane next to me.
Their eyes are wide open, and mouth agape with blood pouring out.
My heart pounds and I’m in complete shock.
It’s like one of those nightmares where you try to scream, but can’t.
This isn’t real, it can’t be real.
The person in the car that hit them gets out screaming hysterically.
They can’t be any older than 19 years.
In an instant lives are lost and lives are changed.
It was the happiest moment I could have ever experienced,
then it became the most unstable mental and emotional trauma of my life.
It wasn’t a nightmare.
I’ll never wake from this.
I won’t end my life.
I’ll appreciate and cherish every bit of it,
because it can all get taken away
in an instant.